Ashamed to Admit
It's everything you didn't get in Jewish Studies class and a lot you probably didn't know you needed.
Ashamed to Admit is the podcast for anyone who's ever nodded along in a conversation about Jewish history, culture, or current events while internally panicking.
Hosted by comedians Tami Sussman and Shoshana Gottlieb, each episode breaks down the big, chewy, occasionally ridiculous questions of Jewish life, identity and community, with warmth, wit, and zero judgment.
From ancient texts to antisemitism to whether you can use a vibrator on Shabbat, nothing is off limits.
Funny, irreverent, and genuinely educational. You don't have to be Jewish to love it. But it helps to have a sense of humour.
Ashamed to Admit
Summer Shames - A secret penchant for Sex and the City
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We all had a straight male friend who secretly loved Sex and the City in the noughties. Was Dash ‘that guy?’ And more importantly, is he a Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte or Miranda? Tami investigates.
If you like this episode, you might like:
https://thejewishindependent.com.au/miscarriage-menopause-gender-transition-mikvah-reinvented
https://thejewishindependent.com.au/books-family-angst-a-synagogue-murder-and-learning-to-be-alone
https://thejewishindependent.com.au/meet-pray-love-why-everyone-is-idolising-the-hot-rabbi
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Summer Shames in Sex and City
Speaker 1It's Summer Shames , it's Summer Shames , it's Summer Shames .
Speaker 2Hmm , he says he's not ashamed .
Speaker 1I'm ashamed , you're ashamed , they should be ashamed . We call that repressed shame .
Speaker 2Well , she needs to tame the shame and move on .
Speaker 1Is it a Jewish thing , maybe ?
Speaker 2You tell me .
Speaker 1I'm Tammy Sussman and in this special series of A Shame to Admit , I'm going to squeeze some of the chewiest shames out of TJI's Executive Director , dr Dachshund Lawrence .
Speaker 2While your third cousin overshares her chewiest faux pas .
Speaker 1Welcome to your weekly dose of Summer Shames . Hey Dash , did you watch Sex and the City growing up ?
Speaker 2I'm ashamed to admit that I did . Yeah , I'd sneak in the occasional episode .
Speaker 1Okay , because in episode 26 , with Nomi Kaltman about female reproductive rights , I shared a story about my almost abortion . That never happened . And what I didn't share is a conversation that I had with my sister many years later when I was traveling and I had an incident with a broken condom and I called her from China actually , where you know isn't really easy to get a plan B pill or whatever and my sister and I used to watch Sex and the City together growing up . It used to be on like 9.30 on Channel 9 on a Monday night .
Speaker 2Yep , I remember it well .
Speaker 1And my sister and I had this conversation and my sister literally said to me don't worry , tammy , even Carrie Bradshaw only had one abortion and Samantha had two , and they've had a lot more sex than you , so the likelihood of you needing an abortion is pretty small . It got me thinking about sex in the city and I took a sex in the city quiz to tell me which character I was , and I was hoping that you might do the same , so I'm going to send you a link .
Speaker 2Please do go for it .
Speaker 1And we can do it together .
Speaker 2One of my best friends he is yeah , he's into like sport and he's very like mask presenting , loved , loved Sex and the City so much , and I don't think he was that ashamed to admit it either . And then I came around his house one day and this was , like you know , after Sex and the City wasn't on television anymore . So there was no real excuse for this behavior , what I'm about to describe . But he had just purchased through eBay season seven , eight and nine on DVD and it had just arrived . And I asked him about , I confronted him about this purchase and , yeah , I got a bit of a sense that it was not a dirty secret but like , yeah , like something that he was he probably wouldn't have offered up . There was a little bit of embarrassment but ultimately he didn't back down .
Speaker 1I have an almost identical story with one of my male friends who was also really into Sex and the City .
Speaker 2Wow . So all of a sudden it appears that more and more men actually were secretly watching Sex and the City on the down low .
Speaker 1More and more geriatric millennial men . Yeah , so he was like forthcoming with it with the female friends , but I highly doubt that he was out of the Sex and the City closet with his male friends .
Speaker 2Okay , let's do this . So pick one of Carrie's love interests Mr Big , Aiden Shaw , Jack Berger or Alexandra Petrovsky . Okay , this is a very easy question .
Speaker 1Why ? Who did you pick ?
Speaker 2Well , the first two , Mr Big and Aiden Shaw , are like classic . They're like the main love interests that run all the way through the show . So I'm going to go with .
Speaker 1So who did you pick , aidan or Mr Big ?
Speaker 2Well , I'm going to go with Aidan
City Dreams and Fashion Styles
Speaker 2.
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2Yeah , what's the city of your dreams ? Paris , london , venice , dubai , tokyo , mumbai , amsterdam , new York City or Berlin ? As soon as I saw Tokyo , I'm like this is the city of my dreams . I'm going to go with Tokyo , okay .
Speaker 1I'm going to go with Amsterdam , but before the pogroms .
Speaker 2Didn't have any broken condom experiences there .
Speaker 1I've never been .
Speaker 2To Amsterdam .
Speaker 1No , never . But I think that's why it's the city of my dreams , because I only have like projected visions of how cool it would be .
Speaker 2I've been there many times . It's not that cool . Oh , really it's pretty and it's Dutch and the Van Gogh Museum is very cool , but yeah , I don't know that I would put it in like my top 10 .
Speaker 1All right , well , I've picked it anyway , because I've got big Anne Frank energy .
Speaker 2Your city of the dream . Yeah yeah , anne Frank , energy Go for it . Okay , okay , pick one of Miranda's love interests Steve Brady , dr Robert Leeds , weight Watchers guy , or Skipper Chonston Well , I think Miranda ends up having a char with Steve , so I'm going to say Steve Brady .
Speaker 1I've picked Dr Robert Leeds . He was my favourite . I don't remember Weight Watchers guy or Skipper Johnston .
Speaker 2What's your style like ? Classic , boho , preppy , romantic , goth , mod , vintage , all black , everything or whatever ? Our listeners aren't going to be able to see this , so you're going to have to do a bit of a description , but look at what I'm wearing today , Tammy .
Speaker 1Okay , I'll describe what you're wearing . You're wearing a white . Oh , there's a bit of a oh my God .
Speaker 2What .
Speaker 1You're wearing Chino shorts . Yeah , cute Beige Chino shorts and a white linen button-up shirt .
Speaker 2Yeah , and some smart black leather sandals smart black leather sandals . Bless you I'm in sydney , as you know , this morning tammy and I don't think I would look out of place in the eastern suburbs , but I'm on the other side of town right now . I'm in the inner west and getting a few looks this morning and not you know , the kind of hey , where are you going ? Sort of looks , More of the what the are you doing walking around here dressed up ?
Speaker 1like that A bit too preppy for the inner west of Sydney .
Speaker 2A bit too preppy . I would like to think I'm classic , okay , yeah .
Speaker 1Can you describe for our listeners what I'm wearing today ?
Speaker 2Okay . So Tammy is wearing her hat which says shame on it . Light blue hat , her usual trademark . Frames round circular orange lens . Frames A bit of jewellery slash looks like something that the kids may have made at childcare . Which says hot Jew , it's like childcare .
Speaker 1It's plastic beads .
Speaker 2Craft material Plastic beads . Thank you , colourful plastic beads . I'm not judging the style , I'm just simply saying it does literally look like something that Solly has made at childcare . And then the T-shirt it's Jewish Girl Summer . Let's be neurotic on the beach and be blamed by the world .
Speaker 1It's a Marcus Pork T-shirt . A little bit of a contrast here , Okay . So how would you describe my style ?
Speaker 2You're pretty eclectic , I would probably say whatever . Okay , I think you could do vintage , but I see less of that and I wouldn't call it boho . Yeah , you sort of having been down the golden mile if that's what you want to call it of Bronte to Bondi this morning , I would say that your style is very much like a kind of an FU to the active wear golden mile . I don't think I've seen you in a shred of active wear this year .
Speaker 1No , I don't wear active wear . Okay , back to the quiz . Pick one of Charlotte's love interests .
Speaker 2To the quiz pick one of Charlotte's love interests Okay , trey McDougall , Harry Goldenblatt , stefan the Chef and Ned .
Speaker 1Well , it's Harry , right ? Obviously it's Harry , and not just because this is a Jewish podcast . It's always Harry .
Speaker 2Well , I thought she ends up with him anyway .
Speaker 1You don't have to choose who she ends up with . You choose who you liked the most .
Speaker 2Oh , was that what I was supposed to do ? Yes , sorry . Well , I was definitely happy to pick Aidan , and Harry was a nice chap from memory .
Speaker 1Yep , harry was a nice chap .
Speaker 2And he was a bald man like me , a bit closer to the skin than me . I don't go quite as bald as that .
Speaker 1We love Harry and his hairy back Okay .
Speaker 2We love bald men . Which TV show would you marathon on a night in the Crown ? 13 Reasons why Friends , the Walking Dead , four Weddings , top Chef , stranger Things , the Simpsons , sex and the City . Oh God , this is tricky because I wouldn't watch any of them and obviously I grew up loving the Simpsons and I probably could have my arm twisted to do a marathon night in quote . End quote .
Speaker 1You love a bit of a marathon .
Speaker 2I love a marathon , but I'm getting through one season every five years at the moment ?
Speaker 1Yeah , same , I'm also not watching anything . I've heard the Crown's very good stuff . I've heard .
Speaker 2The last season of the Crown is shocking , oh really . And I heard . Sorry , spoiler alert everyone . The ghost of Princess Di appears .
Speaker 1Oh yeah .
Speaker 2How tacky and what a terrible way to end what actually was quite a good series . Bugger it , I'm going . Sex and the City .
Speaker 1Yeah , so am I .
Speaker 2I'm doing it .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2I'm doing it for my friend , I'm doing it for you , don't do it for me , I'm doing it for Aidan .
Speaker 1Do it for you .
Speaker 2Yeah , I'm doing it for me . I could do it . No , pick one of Samantha's love interests Smith , gerard Maria Reyes , richard Wright and Guy with the Funky Spunk . Okay , it's got to be Smith .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Handsome fellow . What's your sign ? Aries , Taurus , Gemini , Cancer , Leo , Virgo I'm not going to list them all out .
Speaker 1Yeah , I left that one out because I'm just not into signs at all .
Speaker 2Oh , thank you . I feel so seen and heard by you , Tammy , and I'm kind of surprised that you're not . You haven't , unlike the rest of your generation , it would seem dabbled in that .
Speaker 1First of all , we are of the same generation .
Speaker 2I mean like sorry , I'm going to say , say something's politically incorrect . A woman of your okay generation , a female assigned at birth of your generation , a woman of your particular milieu , ie , because you're like , creative and you're artistic and but I know that you've got a broad range of friends . You can't box tam Tammy , sussman , aries , I'm an Aries , everyone should know that .
Speaker 1So am I hey .
Speaker 2When's your birthday ? April 19th .
Speaker 1That's right , I'm March 31st . We should have a joint celebration halfway in Broken Hill . Celebrate with some Ghost .
Speaker 2Yeah , hot ancestors in Broken Hill .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Pick someone to get coffee with Stanford Blatch in it Anthony Maratino , lexi , featherston , magda or Bill Kelly the only character I know here , tammy , is Stanford .
Speaker 1Yeah , and he's the most fun .
Speaker 2Yeah , so I'm going Stanford . And finally , what makes you so damn awesome ? And finally , what makes you so damn awesome ?
Speaker 1So what makes you so damn awesome , dash ? Are you funny , pretty rich , powerful , fit , fun , chill , employed alive ?
Speaker 2Yeah , what do you think I would say ?
Speaker 1Fit .
Speaker 2No , of course .
Speaker 1I'm not going to say that .
Speaker 2Gonna say that your marathons yes , well , I am fit , but um , I'm not going to say that's what makes me so damn awesome you have to choose from this yeah , yeah , I'm just getting through . The day is an achievement sometimes , particularly at this stage in life , at this time in the year . I'm alive . That's what makes me so damn awesome . I'm sorry .
Speaker 1Oh , josh , that's a little bit depressing . Okay , what do you think I chose ?
Speaker 2You should say that I'm fun , you're fun . But I don't think you would have done that . I think you're too self-deprecating . You're too self-deprecating . I do a process of elimination You're like well not rich , you're not powerful , you're not chill , you're not employed . Just narrow them down to three and pick one . But then , even though you're self-deprecating , I also think you could be like do this one a bit ironic . So I think you actually could have put I'm pretty .
Speaker 1No , I didn't choose that .
Speaker 2I'm powerful .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2I'm chill , I'm chill .
Speaker 1I'm chill . I did that one ironically . Yeah , I'm chill . No , I'll click . I'm funny .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 1Some of our listeners may not agree with .
Speaker 2Yeah , you're funny sometimes .
Speaker 1Okay , so who are you ?
Speaker 2Like where's the bit where I go into my score ?
Speaker 1Who are you Dash ?
Speaker 2I'm Charlotte . I am Charlotte . You definitely have some Carrie-like tendencies , but at the end of the day you are a truly deep romantic . You're a total Charlotte . Try not to take life too seriously and let loose once in a while .
Speaker 1That's pretty accurate Dash . How do you feel about that outcome ?
Speaker 2Not true . It's not true .
Speaker 1Oh , you don't like it , I don't like it .
Speaker 2I don't like Charlotte .
Speaker 1Who did you think you would get ?
Speaker 2Out of all the Sex and the City characters I don't know , like maybe Aiden , out of all the Sex and the City characters , I don't know like maybe Aiden , it's not out of all of them , it's out of the four . Oh , okay , or probably Carrie , maybe Miranda , because she's , like the most sensible out of all of them .
Speaker 1So you identify as sensible , okay .
Speaker 2Compared to you .
Speaker 1Can you take a guess who I got ?
Speaker 2You got Samantha .
Speaker 1So you think I'm a slut ? That's what you're saying . I mean , I did open with an abortion story , another one .
Speaker 2In China .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2How did that happen ?
Speaker 1I'll tell you exactly how it happened . I went into a 24-hour convenience store and there were different flavoured condoms and one of them was green tea flavoured and I'm like , well , when in China , let's just say it was a little bit too much caffeine in that condom . That's how it happened , yeah .
Speaker 2Didn't do the job .
Speaker 1Is this how we're going to end today's episode ?
Speaker 2Yeah , enough talk .
Summer Shame Podcast Review Request
Speaker 1You've been listening to Summer Shames , the Shvitsi Shvesta podcast of a shame to admit .
Speaker 2Presented by the Jewish Independent and hosted by me , Dash Lawrence and Tammy Sussman .
Speaker 1These episodes are edited by Nick King .
Speaker 2If you like what we're doing , it's time to wipe the sunscreen off your hands and leave a review .
Speaker 1Or if you're in a different hemisphere , dash , because we forgot that some of our listeners live overseas and it's not summer there . Remove your mittens and give us some stars . We'll take five of them , thanks .
Speaker 2As always . Thanks for the support and we look forward to Kitzel your ears next week .
Speaker 1You chose Yiddish . That's very racist . What about Kosses in Ladino ? Or dig dug in Hebrew ? Tickle , Give your ears a little tickle . Or zug zug .
Speaker 2I only know Kitzel . I've got a book about Kitzel .
Speaker 1Okay .