Ashamed to Admit
It's everything you didn't get in Jewish Studies class and a lot you probably didn't know you needed.
Ashamed to Admit is the podcast for anyone who's ever nodded along in a conversation about Jewish history, culture, or current events while internally panicking.
Hosted by comedians Tami Sussman and Shoshana Gottlieb, each episode breaks down the big, chewy, occasionally ridiculous questions of Jewish life, identity and community, with warmth, wit, and zero judgment.
From ancient texts to antisemitism to whether you can use a vibrator on Shabbat, nothing is off limits.
Funny, irreverent, and genuinely educational. You don't have to be Jewish to love it. But it helps to have a sense of humour.
Ashamed to Admit
Summer Shames - Co-worker evaluation time
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Tami and Dash make the most of their summer break from regular programming to evaluate each other: the good, the bad, the shameful. Will Tami make it back for season 3? What's really been bugging Tami about working with Dash? You'll find out.
Subscribe to The Jewish Independent's bi-weekly newsletter: jewishindependent.com.au
Tami and Dash on Instagram: tami_sussman_writer_celebrant and dashiel_and_pascoe
X: TJI_au
YouTube: thejewishindependentAU
Facebook: TheJewishIndependentAU
Instagram: thejewishindependent
LinkedIn: the-jewish-independent
Performance Evaluation in Podcast Duo
Speaker 1It's Summer Shames , it's Summer Shames , it's Summer Shames .
Speaker 2Hmm , he says he's not ashamed .
Speaker 1I'm ashamed , you're ashamed , they should be ashamed . We call that repressed shame .
Speaker 2Well , she needs to tame the shame and move on .
Speaker 1Is it a Jewish thing , maybe ?
Speaker 2You tell me .
Speaker 1I'm Tammy Sussman and in this special series of A Shame to Admit , I'm going to squeeze some of the chewiest shames out of TJI's Executive Director , dr Dashiell Lawrence .
Speaker 2While your third cousin overshares her chewiest faux pas .
Speaker 1Welcome to your weekly dose of Summer Shames . So Dash , as the person in this podcast duo who actually has like a proper job in an institution with an HR department .
Speaker 2I'm not sure I'd call the Jewish Independent an institution .
Speaker 1So what is it ? A company , a organisation , a press ?
Speaker 2Well , we've actually just this week been granted charity status , so we're a charity .
Speaker 1Is that why you've employed me ?
Speaker 2That's right .
Speaker 1So is there an HR department ?
Speaker 2I'm the HR department . Okay , tammy , we're coming up to nearly 12 months of your engagement with the Jewish Independent and I think it's high time that we review the fit .
Speaker 1So has the past nine months been like a probation period .
Speaker 2Didn't you read that in the contract , in the fine print ?
Speaker 1I'm not very good at reading fine print , evidently .
Speaker 2Okay , we always needed to have , you know , a panic button within reach or breaks that we could apply . So this is the mechanism we've got . We've got your nine monthly evaluation to whip through .
Speaker 1You would be surprised by how many people have said to me over the years in different contexts that I need a panic button nearby . Some breaks , okay . I am both offended by those comments and also like completely understand .
Speaker 2You understand ? Hey , to be fair , it's opportunity for you to evaluate me and let me know about the fit . It goes both ways .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's true . So Dash and I have both been given a template , a co-worker evaluation form , and we've completed them in our own time , and now we're going to share what we've written . The instructions of the evaluation criteria were to rate the co-workers' performance in each area using the scale below and provide examples or comments where applicable . Could you tell our listeners what the rating scale was ?
Speaker 2It was a scale of one , two , three . So one needs improvement , two meets expectations , three exceeds expectations .
Speaker 1So for team collaboration , dash meaning , do you work well with team members that's me and do you contribute ideas ? I gave you a three . You exceeded my expectations .
Speaker 2Okay , I gave you a three as well .
Speaker 1Fantastic , we're off to a great start . Any comments ?
Speaker 2Not yet . I've got comments to come .
Speaker 1We're working up to that . Yeah , communication skills Does my coworker , dash Lawrence , clearly and effectively communicate in meetings ? I said two , you meet expectations and you communicate clearly and effectively . In between mouthfuls of protein balls , I said sometimes the shaking of your protein shakes muffles your sound a bit .
Speaker 2I gave you three and my comment was just simply loves a chat .
Speaker 1Loves a bit of chit-chat .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Okay . Good banterability can you be relied upon to meet deadlines ? I gave you a two . You meet expectations . I couldn't give you a three because your work is rarely submitted early but it's always on time . So if you were to always beat your deadline I would have given you a three , can't complain .
Speaker 2I think that's very generous of you , given that I'm usually late for our recordings . I gave you three out of three for dependability and I said Tammy is always there before me .
Speaker 1Both physically , emotionally , there before you . Intellectually I'm a few steps behind , but thank you , that was a very generous score . Okay , problem solving Does my co-worker offer creative solutions to team challenges ? I gave you one needs improvement for problem solving .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 1The example that I gave you . One needs improvement for problem solving . Okay , the example that I gave . Once you left your podcast equipment on the other side of Melbourne and you were going to be late for an interview and you said don't worry , tammy , I'll hop on my bicycle and be there in 15 minutes . And I said Dash , it kind of sounds like an Uber kind of emergency situation to me . And you said yeah , I think you're right . So I think your problem solving skills could be a little bit better , and I think it mostly comes down to the way that you tend to think that most problems can be solved with riding a bicycle somewhere . Do you think that's fair ?
Speaker 2Absolutely . Look , I probably have some unorthodox methods . I think I'm generally pretty logical and not a bad problem solver , but there are people that would differ to that account . Look , I gave you three . You're coming up chumps with me's not a competition .
Speaker 2Dash comes up with great solutions to problems or any hurdles she faces such as oh look , if we've got a guest that's pulled out or we've got to suddenly change the focus of a particular episode , you're always ready to come up with a solution , and you're always kind of ready to solve the problem even before it's become very pressing . So thumbs up .
Speaker 1He's giving me a thumbs up and regretting his responses . Okay , With regards to respect and professionalism . I rated you three . You exceed expectations . Dash , you are a mensch . Oh , thank you no doubt about it .
Speaker 2That makes me feel really special today . I need it . I give you a two Very respectful , very respectful .
Speaker 1However , Tammy could use a refresh of the wardrobe with regard to attire , Firstly tell me what's wrong with my attire ?
Speaker 2Nothing's wrong with your attire . I didn't say anything was wrong with your attire . I just said that that's an area of potential improvement . It's a growth area .
Speaker 1Okay , so you think I could be a bit more business casual ?
Speaker 2Growth mindset . Tammy , Where's your growth mindset ?
Speaker 1My growth mindset ? No , but I just don't understand it , Like because it's with regards to professionalism .
Speaker 2Tammy . We went to a meeting with a big dog last week in Sydney and you turned up with like it was funny , it was quirky , it was very Tammy Sussman .
Speaker 1I was wearing a vintage t-shirt from a bagel shop in Chicago that my dead step-grandfather left me .
Speaker 2Yep , yep , yep , a baseball cap and you weren't wearing a bra .
Speaker 1That was an accident .
Speaker 2Well , look , when you've got meetings with big dogs in the high end of town in Sydney , you come with like shoulder pads . You know I'm thinking pixie skates from the 1980s . You know , show a bit of professionalism , get some bling jewellery out , okay , you know . Clean lines , okay , sharp .
Speaker 1You know what Think , boss , that is totally fair .
Speaker 2Don't think bottom of the vintage barrel , you know .
Speaker 1I saw this meme yesterday and it was basically this woman who had screenshot a email exchange between her and her superior at work and she said to her superior I have to cancel this meeting . I'm really sorry for my lack of professionalism in doing so . And her superior wrote back no need to apologize , professionalism was invented by the patriarchy ah , yes , yeah , so true , so true so true , but also wear a bra , especially when the t-shirt's beige .
Speaker 1Okay , contribution to team goals . Do you , dash Lawrence , help this duo achieve team targets and offer support ? I rated you a three . You exceed my expectations , except that time you told me that I should consider becoming a drama teacher . Because , dash , how the hell are we going to be the next Kyle and Jackie-O if I have a full-time , soul-destroying job elsewhere ?
Speaker 2I didn't tell you you should become a drama teacher . It was a question have you ever considered drama teaching , which I get granted , is the sort of thing that your concerned mother or grandmother or relative asks . It's not something that your partner in podcasting crime should be asking . So I'm sorry , just looking out for you . It came from a good place . It came from a good place .
Speaker 1I did ask you how you think I could make some extra money on the side .
Speaker 2You know when you're throwing out OnlyFans and all sorts of other left of field options . I just felt like let's get back to some fundamentals here . You're a great communicator . You're an excellent dramatist . You are able to inject a lot of energy into a room . You'd make a great trauma teacher . Have you ever considered it ?
Speaker 1What I was hoping you'd say is Tammy , all those skills would be really great as a head of podcasts at the Jewish Independent and here's this role that we've all just created for you Didn't work out that way .
Speaker 2Head of podcasts . Okay , I mean , you didn't even ask me . I gave you a three , by the way , and you know the comments are relevant , but you know it was definitely pumping you up , that's for sure . Thanks , Just know that you definitely got a higher score than I got .
Speaker 1It's not a competition , what's ? With this patriarchal lens of a competition . I'd like to know what you said about me and how I contribute to team goals .
Speaker 2Just said doing a great job for the team . That's all . That's all I'm going to say . Not really worth going into the details .
Speaker 1I reckon you said more , but now you're ashamed to share it .
Speaker 2It's okay , let's move on to the open-ended questions .
Speaker 1You didn't write anything at all , did you no ?
Speaker 2I did , I did .
Speaker 1Open-ended questions .
Speaker 2You didn't write anything at all , did you ? No , I did . I did Open-ended questions . Why don't you go first this time ? What are this co-worker's greatest strengths ? Tammy is a fun co-worker who has many strengths that cannot be simply distilled into a single strength . Tammy is showing great progress towards her goals as a podcaster at TJI and general content creator , and I look forward to working with Tammy Sussman in 2025 .
Speaker 1I've been watching you . You're not reading off a sheet of paper , you just made that up on the spot .
Speaker 2Not bad huh .
Speaker 1You have not done your homework , I have .
Speaker 2I did my homework early this morning in between very important meetings .
Speaker 1I'm taking a point off for dependability . Can you be relied upon to meet deadlines ?
Speaker 2Of course I can .
Speaker 1You were a two and now you're a one .
Speaker 2Not meeting expectations . Okay , this is what I wrote for you Shifty expectations . Dash what I wrote for you Shifty expectations .
Speaker 1Dash . These are your greatest strengths . I'm going to provide examples of how you have positively impacted the team . You're inquisitive , you're enthusiastic , you're articulate , you're patient , you're highly intelligent and you remind me to ask the smart questions . You're a person of integrity , and we mustn't forget your cute face .
Speaker 2Tammy , now I feel terrible that I didn't put up a proper answer to this . Put more effort into it ? Yeah , so you should . I didn't put more effort .
Speaker 1Okay , and cute face . My mother and Elise Hurst wanted me to make sure that that was in there .
Speaker 2Thank you , louise , and thank you Elise .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2It's nice to still be approaching 40 , just around the corner , and be told that I have a cute face .
Speaker 1There you go , you're approaching 40 . I did catch my mother looking at pictures of you on LinkedIn yesterday and I said , mum , what are you doing ? And she said , how old's Dash . And I said , mum , this is your workplace . Shouldn't you be doing some invoicing , paying some wages ? Louise and I looked over and my dad's sitting they work together and my dad's at his computer and I'm like Dad , are you aware of this ? And he just shrugs . So you'll be 40 on the 19th of April .
Speaker 2Oh God , yes , Thank you for the reminder . I'll also be in London for the London Marathon and bringing had to slip it in , had to slip it in , and we'll have a special Ashamed to Admit episode coming out at that time . Just a bit of dropping some breadcrumbs for season three .
Speaker 1Are you going to London alone or with the family ?
Speaker 2I'm going alone .
Speaker 1So you'll be celebrating your 40th on your own .
Speaker 2No , that's not true . I'm actually going the morning after my 40th . Oh okay , the 20th . Yeah , I just don't want to be contacted over that period . In general , please Okay , unless you're sending good wishes to me or donating , because I'm raising money for charity while I'm over it .
Speaker 1Oh .
Speaker 2More information to come on when we return for season three .
Speaker 1Okay , well , I'm also raising money .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , what for ?
Speaker 1For a full-time role at the Jewish Independent . Okay , so are there any areas where this coworker could improve ? Have you written anything for me , or do you want me to just say ?
Speaker 2yours , I think I put technical issues from time to time . That's fair , isn't it ?
Speaker 1Yeah , that's fair .
Speaker 2Hey , you're pretty good for the most part .
Speaker 1Yeah , I don't think those technical issues were my fault , to be honest . But you're right , there are some areas where I could improve .
Speaker 2They were the microphone's fault for standing in the wrong direction .
Speaker 1That's true , that one was my fault . Yeah , yeah , okay For
Teamwork and Feedback Evaluation
Speaker 1you . I wrote the areas where you could improve punctuality answering my phone calls when you're on the toilet , because I know you're screening them .
Speaker 2I generally answer your phone calls .
Speaker 1You do , except there's like a certain time of day where you don't answer them , and I think that must be . He must be pretty regular , and that's when he's doing his poop and scroll and doesn't want to be bothered by me . And when you call me and I'm on the toilet , I answer the phone . So I just think it's fair that it's reciprocated . Another area where you could improve is getting Jess Fox on the show , because you're the one with her email address and you were the one who used to correspond with her in 2016 .
Speaker 2It would be great to get either of the Fox sisters on . A shame to admit , Naomi did also win gold .
Speaker 1That's true , but she wasn't in the book that you edited , People of the Boot .
Speaker 2The Triumphs and Tragedy of Australian Jews in Sport , that's right .
Speaker 1But Jess was . There was a whole chapter written about her .
Speaker 2That's right . Yesitten by Carly Adno .
Speaker 1Uh-huh .
Speaker 2Yep .
Speaker 1And so you were in touch with Jess around this time . Was it 2016 ?
Speaker 22018, . I think Circa 2017, .
Speaker 1You were in touch with Jess Fox . You had her email address .
Speaker 2You had yes , tammy , yes , you've made your point . Okay , go on . Okay , yes , tammy , yes , you've made your point .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2Go on .
Speaker 1Are there areas you could improve ? Laughing more audibly at my jokes ?
Speaker 2I've come some way . I've definitely been a bit more generous in the dolloping of laughs in season two .
Speaker 1You've improved .
Speaker 2I crack a wry smile pretty frequently and that wry smile breaks out into the occasional Wry smile does not translate well in an audio format . That's true . I just don't like canned laughter , you know .
Speaker 1Is that what you're saying ? That you have to fake it ?
Speaker 2Do you fake laugh sometimes when I say something that you don't actually find that funny ?
Speaker 1Never , I don't know how to fake laugh . Okay , can you please describe a specific instance where I displayed exceptional teamwork ?
Speaker 2A specific instance . Well , look , you've been , you've been , you're very good at the start with the organisation of our show materials . You got the Google Drive up , you created the folders , you created the scripts , led the charge on that front and continue to , to be honest . So that's a specific demonstration of exceptional teamwork .
Speaker 1Thank you .
Speaker 2You know there's no I in teamwork . It's all about what the team needs , and what the team needs is a good Google Drive folder structure , and that you have created , tammy Swissman .
Speaker 1Thank you .
Speaker 2Note to any potential employers out there Tammy's excellent on the Google Drives and will frequently remind me of a Monday morning to put the show up , or of a Thursday afternoon to upload my audio . Those are all specific examples of excellent teamwork .
Speaker 1Thank you , and I noticed that you said to all future employers of Tammy is that like ? You trying to get moving .
Speaker 2This is my subtle way of getting to the crunch of the evaluation . Yeah , no , we're keeping you .
Speaker 1So I said that you demonstrate exceptional teamwork when you upload the podcast to all the podcast platforms .
Speaker 2Uh-huh .
Speaker 1And when you defend me when listeners send in complaints , I think that's great .
Speaker 2Ooh , that's nice . I didn't realise . Am I a bit ? Do I go into like sort of papa bear mode a bit ? Do you think no , oh , okay .
Speaker 1No , you're actually very diplomatic . You're like , I hear those concerns . I also shared some of those concerns and here at the Jewish Independent we try to , and I know that what you'd really love to say is yeah , that interview with Alex Rivchin was a bit superficial and yeah , tammy could have really asked some hard hitting questions , but she really just wanted to know how Vicky Rivchen feels about women and gay men objectifying her husband . So I'm sorry that I didn't steer that interview in the right direction .
Speaker 2I'll always be there to back you up .
Speaker 1That's good to know . How do I handle feedback or conflict ?
Speaker 2I put here . Very well , I don't think we've had , I don't know . Have we had a fight ? Have we had a conflict ?
Speaker 1No , how does Dr Dashiell Lawrence handle feedback or conflict ? I said he turns into a whiny brat and I gave the Bumba snack example when I just suggested when , dash , you might recall .
Speaker 2You did come down on me quite harshly .
Speaker 1Firstly , let me describe this incident because it never made it to a podcast . Back in November the Jewish Independent brought out a film Pitta with Vegemite , for the Jewish International Film Festival and Dash was telling me how excited he was that the team at the Jewish Independent had created a little snack pack for viewers of the film to receive at the Ritz in Randwick . And he said included in this snack pack are Bumba snacks . And I said to Dash Dash , you can't give people Bumba snacks because it contains peanuts and people will go into anaphylactic shock . And instead of saying , oh , that's a really good point , tammy Dash says well , I wasn't the one who made the snack pack . It wasn't me , sharon . Sharon made the snack pack . Why are you accusing me of trying to murder all the Jews of Sydney and Melbourne ? I've rewatched the footage of that and I actually wasn't coming down hard on you at all . I think I was communicating effectively . I think you'd had a bad day .
Speaker 2Your impersonation of me is not your best , I have to say it's true .
Speaker 1Do you rate my impersonation ? One Needs improvement .
Speaker 2Yeah , no , no . No , you're a pretty good impersonator when it comes to certain characters , but I didn't like that one of them , not really . Yeah , I take that point . That's fair enough . In the end we got busily . So I did contact Sharon and say I think we need to get busily . She sorted it out .
Speaker 1Not after a small panic attack .
Speaker 2Hey , at least it wasn't an anaphylactic attack .
Speaker 1Could have been worse . Okay . Do I feel that my coworker , dash Lawrence positively influences team morale and I said yes , because sometimes you send me texts that read your interview with insert name was terrific , well done . I really like it when I get those texts from you .
Speaker 2Nice . It's nice to have your belly scratched once in a while or get a special little treat or something . This is definitely one of your strengths , Tammy . You definitely keep morale high , except for those days when you don't , and that's fine . You don't always have to be upbeat and fun , but nine times out of 10 you are . So , yeah , you're great for the laughs . That's what I wrote here .
Speaker 1Thank you . I like to think that one of my greatest strengths is that , even when I'm having a really bad day , I still like to lift other people . You know , without toxic positivity , like I'll criticize all your life choices , but then I'll say something funny and that'll make you feel better .
Speaker 2Yeah , it is a strategy for dealing with all the things that life throws at you , and it's probably a survival strategy that has served you and others in your family well , I reckon , because these things usually go from generation to generation . Right ? Was your hot ancestor really into making light of bad situations when he was locked up in jail ? What's his name ? I've forgotten his name Lakofsky Edward .
Speaker 1Every time you say hot ancestor , the ghost of Edward Lukofsky just materializes and freaks the dog out . I don't know if Hot Ancestor Edward Lukofsky had that skill , I'd imagine that he did . I'd like to read the summary . I'm your evaluator , dash , and here are your final comments . You bring journalistic integrity , sensitivity and empathy to the Ashamed to Admit team . You excel in collaboration , professionalism and you demonstrate intelligence and a willingness to support others , particularly through thoughtful encouragement and practical contributions like managing podcast uploads . However , there is room for growth in areas such as punctuality and addressing vital concerns like laughing more audibly at jokes . The end .
Speaker 2Very nice , that's a good one .
Podcast Host Performance Evaluation
Speaker 1You didn't write a summary . I know it's fine .
Speaker 2Well , tammy , once again I am blown away by your generosity and your kind words and the sincerity with which you've taken this exercise . You have absolutely shown me up and I am more than a bit ashamed that I haven't gone to the lengths , that you have to really think about this . All I have for you , tammy , is a simple keep up the good work , and I've done the evaluation and I can tell you now you are exceeding expectations . I don't have a stamp here on my desk , but if I did , I'd pull out this report now , stamp it , and that stamp would read passed .
Speaker 1Does that mean I'm coming back for season three ?
Speaker 2It means you're coming back for 2025 . Woo mean I'm coming back for season three . It means you're coming back for 2025 . Woo , she's coming back for season three .
Speaker 1You've been listening to Summer Shames , the Schvitzisch Fester podcast of a shame to admit .
Speaker 2Presented by the Jewish Independent and hosted by me , Dash Lawrence and Tammy Sussman .
Speaker 1These episodes are edited by Nick King .
Speaker 2If you like what we're doing , it's time to wipe the sunscreen off your hands and leave a review .
Speaker 1Or if you're in a different hemisphere , dash , because we forgot that some of our listeners live overseas and it's not summer there . Remove your mittens and give us some stars . We'll take five of them , thanks .
Speaker 2As always . Thanks for the support and we look forward to Kitzel your ears next week .
Speaker 1You chose Yiddish . That's very racist . What about Kosses in Ladino ? Or Dig Dug in Hebrew ? Tickle , give your ears a little tickle , or zug , zug .
Speaker 2I only know Kitzel . I've got a book about Kitzel .
Speaker 1Okay .
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
Tensions Transplanted
The Jewish Independent