Ashamed to Admit
It's everything you didn't get in Jewish Studies class and a lot you probably didn't know you needed.
Ashamed to Admit is the podcast for anyone who's ever nodded along in a conversation about Jewish history, culture, or current events while internally panicking.
Hosted by comedians Tami Sussman and Shoshana Gottlieb, each episode breaks down the big, chewy, occasionally ridiculous questions of Jewish life, identity and community, with warmth, wit, and zero judgment.
From ancient texts to antisemitism to whether you can use a vibrator on Shabbat, nothing is off limits.
Funny, irreverent, and genuinely educational. You don't have to be Jewish to love it. But it helps to have a sense of humour.
Ashamed to Admit
Jewish wild child, musician, artist and pickle queen Sara Yael
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Are you interested in Jewish creatives who are making exciting work in lush counter-cultural Australian landscapes? If you answered YES, then you’ve come to the right place. In this episode, Tami chats to dynamic & wildly creative artist Sara Yael about all of her crazy past (and present) lives, her EP “Live at the Knoll” and being part of the arts community post Oct 7.
Come see Tami & Dash in a LIVE recording of Ashamed to Admit at Limmud Oz Melbourne
https://www.trybooking.com/events/landing/1391702
If you enjoyed this episode you might also enjoy these pieces from TJI
https://thejewishindependent.com.au/the-hidden-jewish-origins-of-flamenco
Ferments on @madebysarayael
Shop / workshops - feast-for-the-people.square.site/
Music @iamsarayael
YouTube- www.youtube.com/@sarayael
Writings- madebysarayael.substack.com/
For all enquiries
Contact misssarayael@gmail.com
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Meet Sarah Yael, Creative Force
Speaker 1Are you interested in Jewish creatives who are making exciting work in lush , countercultural Australian landscapes ? If you answered yes , then you've come to the right place .
Speaker 2I'm Dash Lawrence from the Jewish Independent and in today's episode , your third cousin , tammy Sussman , will be talking to an Australian singer-songwriter , sustainable interior designer and pickle queen .
Speaker 1Who knows if she'll be ashamed to admit anything . It's season three of this TJI podcast and we seem to be dropping our shame a little bit .
Speaker 2Some of us more than others .
Speaker 1Come along for the ride , as we have a go at cutting through some seriously chewy , dewy and muddy topics .
Speaker 2Welcome to this week's episode of A Shame to Admit . Hi , I'm Dash , Loves a bit of navy blue Lawrence .
Speaker 1Navy blue is the warmest colour and I'm Tammy still wearing my C-section undies Sussman .
Speaker 2I am not even going to ask Tammy .
Speaker 1Okay , I'm going to tell you anyway , even going to ask Tammy . Okay , I'm going to tell you anyway . So my youngest daughter is almost three and a half and I purchased some new underwear recently and usually what someone would do when they purchase new undies is they would get rid of old ones , and I did . I got rid of some which had no more elastic , but I can't quite let go of my C-section undies . Do you know what I'm talking about , dash ? Do you know what C-section undies are ?
Speaker 2I do .
Speaker 1You're familiar High waist , roomy bamboo cotton soft . Got holes in them , but there's a certain comfort to it .
Speaker 2Yep .
Speaker 1Yep , he knows he doesn't want to talk more about it . People can criticise all they want , but I don't want to contribute to landfill . I'm an eco-warrior . That's what I am , and our guest today , dash , is also an eco-warrior . Amongst other things , her name is Sarah Yael and , dear listener , I want you to get the image of C-section undies out of your mind while we take you through Sarah's extensive biography .
Speaker 2That's right , Tammy . Sarah Yael is more than an eco-warrior she is a creative force , an unapologetic , dynamic , wildly creative artist with a music career spanning two decades .
Speaker 1From hip-hop to folk to salty blues to smoking soul-pop ballads , there is no genre this queen hasn't touched . You may know her from fronting award-winning nine-piece band Rapscallion , which was an outrageous ensemble that toured the world for over a decade , causing riots and mayhem in Spiegel tents , amphitheatres , under bridges in Melbourne . Some of our listeners may have even seen them at Sheer Madness , the Jewish music festival .
Speaker 2Or you may have heard Sarah Kroon at Splendour in the Grass and Woodford Folk Festival with her whiskey-drenched blues outfit , bonnie Love . Her EP Live at the Knoll was released under her name Sarah Yell .
Speaker 1When Sarah's not making music , she designs sustainable , human-centric and biophilic spaces , and if you don't know what a biophilic space is , we cover that in our interview . She's also a visual artist , an artisan . She makes small batch ferments and harvests wild foods in the woods . She sounds like a made-up person Dash , but I can assure you she's real .
Speaker 2I'm looking forward to meeting her , Tammy , through your interview . Thanks for flying solo on this one .
Speaker 1And I hope you enjoy this week having me tammy sussman sarah , in the intro to today's episode , I introduced you as a jewishie , gypsy and pickle priestess .
Speaker 4What did I miss ? I don't know . I wouldn't . I don't know if I would say , priestess , like I feel like you need to be much older and holier , but your pants have holes in them , that's true , hey , nice , that's a good pickup , and they do Someone's been listening to your EP ?
Speaker 1Yeah , amazing . So you have a dog , a cheeky dog . Do you identify as a dog mom , dog , sister or a dog hot nanny ?
Speaker 4yeah , I'm kind of going with the more dog hot nanny , like people call me a dog mom and I and I just kind of repel against it because I'm like I didn't give birth to him , I didn't breastfeed him , like I really respect moms , and I'm like I didn't give birth to him , I didn't breastfeed him , like I really respect moms , and I'm like I don't think I have that . Like someone even said happy mother's day the other day and I was like no , no , no , no , no , that's not my place . So I'm kind of a dog guardian slash , trying to be disciplinarian and not always succeeding .
Speaker 1Failing Super important question . Dash will be mad at me if I don't ask this . If someone made the technology which enabled you to breastfeed your dog , would you do it ?
Speaker 4never . Oh my god , that would be really freaky of things . So can we start ?
Speaker 1this interview with me , asking you who made you .
Speaker 4You know , I think every baby
Royal Jelly Origins and Jewish Roots
Speaker 4is a miracle , so they say . But the reason I was born was because of Roald Dahl and my parents couldn't have babies . Really they couldn't have babies . So my beautiful brother and sister are adopted from Brazil because my dad really wanted kids . And then one day my dad read Roald Dahl , the adult stories . I don't know if you've read his adult short stories . They're amazing . And there's one called Royal Jelly and he read that and it's about a queen bee and it's a kind of yeah , it's an amazing story . And he started feeding my mom royal jelly and then I popped out is this are you for real ? Yeah , I'm for real . So the only reason I'm born is because of royal dhal and royal jelly . What's royal jelly ? Royal jelly is what they feed the queen bee to make the queen bee .
Speaker 1So it's like a natural . It's not airplane jelly from the supermarket , it's like it comes from a beehive .
Speaker 4Yeah , that's what differentiates the bee from the queen bee . I mean , I'm pretty sure .
Speaker 1We don't have time to fact check , but our listeners are fact checkers , so they can do that and they can get back to us .
Speaker 4Yeah , so that's why my dad and then he wrote a booklet and would then teach people about fertility all around Australia and get them to eat royal jelly . Oh , my God when is your dad from Glasgow in Scotland , so he's third generation Scottish , and before that they're from Latvia and Riga and Belarus .
Speaker 1Yeah , Belarus yeah .
Speaker 4Belarus yeah , I think it's Belarus . I actually called them before . I was like , let me get this right . But , yeah , belarus , yeah , but they all left . Yeah , they all died , but my dad's family , a few of them escaped .
Speaker 1Which is classic Jewish origin story . Yeah , and your mum ? Where's she from ?
Speaker 4She's born in Israel but grew up in Belgium , in the Congo and then Brazil , and her family are like Spanish and Baghdad , Wow , and Hebron my dad was just saying like in the 15th century they escaped Spain with the synagogue doors on a donkey , oh my God and walked to Israel and walked to Gaza and set up the first synagogue there and then moved to Hebron . But they were in Gaza in the 15th century .
Speaker 1Amazing . How did your mom and dad meet .
Speaker 4They met in Israel on the what is it called the gap year .
Speaker 1Yeah , oh , they go on Ulpan where they learn Hebrew .
Speaker 4Yeah , my mom came from Brazil . My dad didn't have anything to do with Jews but he kind of his best friend got him on the trip and they met in Israel .
Speaker 1I love that . Also a common origin story . A parent who's disconnected from the Jewish community has Jewish roots . A friend's like let's go to Israel , it's a wild time .
Speaker 4And then they end up meeting the love of their lives and , yeah , birthright worked yeah , that's right , worked well if it weren't for birthright , you and your gifts would not be here yeah , thank you birthright , except birthright has an age limit and they won't let me go on a birthright trip we're gonna have to do something about that .
Speaker 1This podcast episode might be the start of a changeorg . That would be nice , yeah , anyway . So your parents your dad , who's originally his family from Belarus or Belarusia and ends up in Glasgow in Scotland , and your mum , whose family are Middle Eastern and Spanish and who ends up in Brazil they meet in Israel , then they adopt some children from Brazil , and then your mum has some royal jelly honey which is not aeroplane jelly from the supermarket , supermarket . She conceives and has you . Where ? What country ? Where were you born ?
Speaker 4well , australia , because my dad , they were like the five pound poms , their family . So they came in the 60s to St Kilda so he was already in Australia and then my they met , fell in love . My dad was like , can I have your hand in marriage to my mum's dad ? And then she moved from Brazil . She was like one of the first Brazilians to move to Australia in the 60s .
Speaker 1Where in Brazil was she living ?
Speaker 4Sao Paulo .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 4And my mum's family is still there .
Speaker 1So you were born in St Kilda , then I was born in .
Speaker 4Melbourne , in Melbourne , yeah , in Swanston Street , like in the CBD .
Speaker 1Okay , can I have the exact address ?
Speaker 4It's the old QV , the Queen Victoria . It's now a shopping centre . Oh , okay , yeah .
Speaker 1And then , at some point , your family decides that they don't want to live in the city anymore . Isn't that right ?
Speaker 4Yeah , they moved to Israel . They moved us all to Israel , and then we lived in a meditation village on a mountain . We made Aliyah in Renana and then moved to Halalit , which is I say it wrong , because no Israeli knows what I'm talking about but it's a meditation village on a mountain and we lived there for three years .
Speaker 1And just for our non-Jewish listeners to make Aliyah means to officially move and set up your life in Israel , and I'm pretty sure Aliyah means to go up , right ? Yeah , I think so . Yeah , I'm just doing a quick fact check . Aliyah is the immigration of jews from the diaspora to , historically , the geographical land of israel or the palestine region , which is today chiefly represented by the state of israel . It's the hebrew word . Aliyah means ascent or going up which is beautiful .
Speaker 4It's a beautiful thing . I only realized that recently and I was like it's beautiful .
Speaker 1Okay , so you live in this meditation village on a mountain , yes , in a red tent , like , where are you ?
Speaker 4In like a shipping container . It was very unglamorous . We were all like four kids , two parents squeezed into this like shipping container , on like gravel , with scorpions . I just remember there being lots of scorpions , but then olive orchards and crystals and runes and yeah , we lived there . We were very happy , like us kids , we had a great , great time . We didn't care about the shipping container , but it really was a metal shipping container .
Speaker 1I believe you ? And then , at what point does your family decide to come back to Australia ?
Speaker 4My dad hated the traffic and this was in the 90s , so all his rallies are like , oh , you should see it now . And he , yeah , packed us up and took us back to Australia and then we did live in a tent , okay , he hated the traffic of what all the shipping containers coming in and out of the meditation village .
Speaker 4No , I don't know . He told me later . Yeah , he was just driving down one day in the traffic and he couldn't handle it and the plastic like the rubbish and we left , so you came back to Australia and you're living in a tent we left .
Speaker 4So you came back to Australia and you're living in a tent in what part of Australia ? In the Gold Coast , in my grandma's backyard , yeah . And then we moved to Crystal Waters . It's this beautiful community permaculture village with kangaroos
From Israel to Eco-Village Life
Speaker 4and wallabies everywhere because there's no dogs or cats allowed . And , yeah , we built a straw bale house . It's beautiful . Like I quit school because I had a bad haircut and and my parents were like , okay , like well , I refused to go to school . It was like 14 . They're like , okay , well , you can help us build the house , because we were owner builders and then my parents didn't know how to build a house but we , somehow , we had woofers come from all around the world . You had what ?
Speaker 1To help us and- . No , firstly , what is a Permia culture village ? I'm ashamed to admit I know nothing . Explain it to me , like you're my bat mitzvah teacher .
Speaker 4A permaculture village is well , I guess it would say like an eco village , you know , and permaculture , the way I describe it , is like plant tomatoes next to basil , because they help each other and they're like a really nice , they're harmonious and they help each other grow Permaculture .
Speaker 4It's like a whole system devised by bill mollison and david homegran and it's just a way of growing and connecting with nature and food in a really harmonious fashion . I don't know if that's a good description . Well , my dad , who's a permaculture teacher , would say no . So Crystal Waters is kind of like that , but it's not . It's actually more like a retirement village , but it's a famous permaculture village and everyone builds their own houses out of rammed earth and straw , bale and domes and mud and timber . Like it's quite beautiful , all the houses there , houses there .
Speaker 4Yeah , it used to be a hippie community where everyone was naked . Like we moved there just after it stopped being a nudist village . What a missed opportunity . Yeah , well , the swimming hole , like it had a sign that says like you can only swim here if you're naked , like you can't swim with clothes , and there were lots of nudists and we were a bit spun out as kids , but yeah , it was a kind of alternative , very alternative world so you were telling me about woofers yeah , so woofers are willing workers on organic farms and I think now they call them workaways and where it's like travelers from all around the world tell you their skills and come and stay with you .
Speaker 4You feed them and give them a place to sleep and they help you on your organic farm usually . So it was pretty cool . We had people from all around the world and they were usually young and very good looking and you were 14 with a bad haircut and I was 14 with a bad haircut . I was 14 with a terrible haircut , and they would just come and live with us and help build our home .
Speaker 1So you're living in a house in Crystal Waters which you have helped your parents build out of mud and straw , and then at some point you decide to leave that life and make your way to Melbourne .
Speaker 4I wanted to be in the circus . So I moved to Melbourne because there was a school for delinquents but they had a circus , so I somehow convinced to get into that school and , yeah , no one would give me a home . So I guess , yeah , in the house interviews I had to pretend I was 18 . How old were you 16 ? Because you know , and for sure I understand now , no one would have wanted to live with me . Yeah , I was still learning how to live , okay , yeah , so I lied and got myself into a really cool shed house in Richmond . That was wild , it was just a wild time and that was the beginning of my other life .
Speaker 1Okay , yeah , is this your other life as a musician ?
Speaker 4Well , just like not with my parents other life .
Speaker 1Let's talk about this next phase of your life . You meet someone . I mean , do we want to give him credit or not ?
Speaker 4Yeah , I think we give him credit . Okay , I meet single when I was 19 and he was like the king of the vagabonds , I guess you know an accordion player and he played the celtic harp , which is pretty good . I met him , we fell in love and the next day he went to europe . I gave him a crystal . I gave him an actual crystal . I was like I'll see you there in 40 days and got a job selling credit cards for American Express and went and met him after knowing him for like I don't know a few , few hours , wow , and met him in England and then he took me to the forest and we like lived in the forest and that's kind of where I learned how to play music . And , yeah , that's where I learned how to play music with him . Okay .
Speaker 1Hang on . So you meet this man . His name's Fingal Fingal Fingal . You have known him for a few hours and you say I'm going to follow you to Europe . I'll see you there in 40 days , which is quite biblical . That's what I was thinking . Yeah , do you reckon that inspired ?
Speaker 4it ? No , because I didn't grow up with the Torah at all Like we , no , so it's inherent . Maybe , or maybe it was Aladdin like Aladdin , vibes like 40 days , 40 nights , which is biblical , but I didn't grow up .
Speaker 1I don't remember that in Aladdin , babe ? No , no , huh , I don't know . Maybe there was a lot of content consumed back then . Okay , so you're in the forest and you're learning how to play music . What type of music ?
Speaker 4Well , like the tin whistle , lots of tin whistling , and you know writing songs on the guitar , because he would busk like he was a busker . That's how he made money and so sometimes he would let me busk with him and that's kind of where I started playing and performing on the streets with him .
Speaker 1Okay , and then you ended up traveling around the world to festivals with him , and what , as part of a nine-piece outfit , is that what you'd call yourself ?
Speaker 4yeah , I think like it grew and it's funny , like we were playing klezmer music , but I didn't know that . I didn't know about klezmer music and I didn't know about anything like that because we were so secular with how we grew up and I remember getting booked for what's the Sydney Jewish festival . I forgot what it was sheer ?
Speaker 4madness , sheer madness . And going there and playing this klezmer music that I didn't know was that and realizing that this whole time I'd been playing music from my roots , you know , because we had like clarinets and double bass and violin and and accordions and everything was like like bar mitzvah music .
Speaker 1We're playing bar mitzvah music without knowing , wow yeah , it's okay to say no , but when you played klezmer music did you kind of feel something ?
Speaker 4in your body a little bit . That's why we played it , because I was so yeah , I mean for me like clarinet and violin , like like when it wails , like when it does that thing , it's still of course it sends shivers in me . Yeah , I was always magnetised to that kind of music . It's amazing .
Speaker 1What about Ladino sounds or things from your ?
Speaker 4I love Ladino music and all the kind of cantoring you know . But only much later I realised that it connected to my roots and there's such an urgency to keep Ladino culture alive .
Speaker 1It's a dying language . Do you speak Ladino ? I don't , but my kids are a quarter Sephardi and their family in Turkey speak Ladino , but only the older generations . So it's really important to me to pass that on to them as well . And whereas you know , there's kind of a revival of Yiddish in the Australian Jewish community , ladino here not so much .
Speaker 1Maybe you're the missing piece of the puzzle yeah , um , maybe I listen to a lot of Ladino music and my nor nor used to speak Ladino , but my mom no you traveled the world for 10 years with Rapscallion and I'm sure you were exposed to a kaleidoscope of experiences , but anything you'd like to share with our listeners , maybe something funny , something maybe you're ashamed to admit while you were on your travels , did you ever kidnap anyone ?
Speaker 4ashamed to admit on our travels . I mean , we were bohemians and we were kind of hobos , I guess . Like I wouldn't say I was a hobo , but the band , they were hobos , so they were doing a lot of stuff that I am now a bit ashamed of . You know they were , they were all larrikins , dumpster diving or like , oh , lots of dumpster diving , but I'm not ashamed .
Speaker 4I'm not ashamed about dumpster diving , to be honest , I think it's kind of saving the world a bit , in a way food from landfill , but I don't know . I mean , we first started like the band Under Bridges in Melbourne when the bohemian scene began . The only venue that we played , or that you could play that kind of music , was under the Westgarth Bridge , and so all these people would gather and we'd light a fire and play and different bands would come and I learned how to sing on the stage and on the street . So I wasn't very good I don't believe you , but no , no , really like we learned on the job . So there was a lot of really shonky gigs basically , and now I think anyone can sing because I learn . If I could learn , we can all do it right .
Speaker 1I think what you were trying to
World Tours and Musical Evolution
Speaker 1tell me is that during your travels , some band members went to Coles and bought some avocados , but put it on the scales and said that they were bananas .
Speaker 4All the time , all the time actually , with cashew nuts and mushrooms in mushroom bags .
Speaker 1You know Cashew nuts in mushroom bags . That is amazing . Yeah , so you wrap up that part of your life and you come back . You end up settling in Mullumbimby , is that correct ?
Speaker 4Yeah .
Speaker 1And you get into fermenting .
Speaker 4Yeah , eventually I get into fermenting after like five or ten years . Before that I was doing like costume design and theater design . Eventually the fermenting happens . Maybe eight years ago and I started , yeah , homesteading and I guess it's usually when people would have babies . But I didn't have babies , so I just was a housewife without a husband or baby . I had a niece and a really beautiful woofer who Marlon's song on my EP is his song . He rocked up to my door . That was pretty good , so I had a fake husband for a bit .
Speaker 1Okay , and yeah , just foraging and fermenting and I take a particular interest in fermenting because I'm not sure if you're aware that I come from a long line of piccolers . I am pickle royalty , really . My grandmother's grandmother had a pickle factory in Marrickville , sydney , palata .
Speaker 2Pickles .
Speaker 1Yeah , what's it called ? It was called Palata Pickles .
Speaker 4Palata yeah , amazing , and they would do . What kind of pickles , like pickled cucumbers ?
Speaker 1They started with onions . My grandmother's grandmother would be peeling those onions in her backyard , and then they moved into pickled cucumbers . What's your favorite thing to ?
Speaker 4pickle . Wait , can I just ask about the pickled cucumbers ? Were they like Ezka ? Were they Jewish , Israeli , like spicy ?
Speaker 1Were they sweet ? I've never tried them because I wasn't alive then , but I can only assume that they would have brought or used a recipe from the Ukraine .
Speaker 4Yeah , wow , that's so cool , Tammy , that's amazing . Thank you , do you pickle ?
Speaker 1No , Okay , no . I just cook my children beige food which they don't eat , and then I end up eating . That's the kind of balabusta I am . So tell our listeners about what you do and all the vibrant colours that you bring into your home and flavours .
Speaker 4I pickle and ferment everything that I can find off late . I've been fermenting choco , which usually I I've never been a choco person , but there's lots in my garden , so and actually if you ferment chocos they taste like pickled cucumber wow I've learned yeah which is cool .
Speaker 4What am I making ? I'm just making anything in season , like kimchi and green papaya , kimchi and sauerkraut and hot sauces in oak barrels . Like I get whiskey oak barrels from the local whiskey guy and then use them to make all kinds kinds of sauces , miso I just ferment everything , like I've actually made hats that say ferment everything , and that's kind of my philosophy and thing , because I feel like we all really need it and we all really need like good bacterias in our guts and we've always , like cultures , have always eaten fermented foods and pickled foods . But now in the west particularly , we don't and I think that's what we're really craving like often kids actually , I wonder if your kids would eat sauerkraut , because all the kids I feed sauerkraut they're just like eating so much of it because we're craving those bacterias , like we're used to them , and we need them to be healthy and vibrant .
Speaker 1Wow , do you sell your produce ?
Speaker 4I sell a little small batch for men .
Speaker 1Where , how ?
Speaker 4On my Instagram and I've got a little shop online and then in little boutique shops and I teach workshops and then I kind of sell them at the workshops and could our listeners in different parts of Australia purchase it ?
Speaker 1do you do that ?
Speaker 4you ship , I do . Sometimes they explode , but actually only like three times out of a hundred . Okay , and if it does , I replace them thank you for that disclaimer .
Speaker 1So sorryiel , you've lived so many lives . You're like a cat that keeps dying and coming back to life and reinventing yourself . That was a terrible analogy , I'm so sorry .
Speaker 4No , I kind of like that . No , I don't mind that at all .
Speaker 1Actually I will use that , and then , at some point , you decide to add sustainable , human-centric and biophilic interior design to your resume , were you ?
Speaker 4bored . Well , that's a long story , but basically I did . I began anyway . Maybe I shouldn't go into that , but it's like this thing , that anyway , I like a not a psychedelic , but any oh no , that is cool .
Speaker 1Yeah , okay , well , don't worry , another podcast .
Speaker 4We're going to do one on psychedelics . Okay , yeah , it's not a psychedelic , it's a bark from Africa that people have for initiation . But I did that and woke up in a very ugly McMansion in Adelaide and it was horrid and I looked around and went I need to fix this and enrolled myself in RMIT and started studying interior design and came out of that and also because I thought I should get a real job because I was working in the theatre and music and you don't get paid no can confirm . And music and you don't get really , you don't get paid , no can confirm . So , um , yeah , and then I kind of , I guess I for me , design is like everything and it's like an ecosystem , and what am I trying to say ?
Speaker 1Yeah , what is biophilic design Biophilic ?
Speaker 4design is mimicking nature , almost because nature is the most perfect designer . If you look at a flower or anything , you're just like it's miraculous . So biophilic design is humans mimicking nature , but in a way that suits humans and nature alike and treads lightly on the earth but also elevates
Fermenting, Foraging and Biophilic Design
Speaker 4the human experience . That's how I see it , and using natural materials , using non-toxic things and creating beautiful spaces that feel really good .
Speaker 1So if you're a listener and you live in the Northern Rivers region , could you consult on spaces all around Australia ?
Speaker 4Yes , I would love to . Okay , yeah , I can . Yeah , I make spaces beautiful , like my motto was designed to elevate humanity . And yeah , simple and beautiful .
Speaker 1Okay . So if people want to reach out to Saria L to elevate their space or for pickles or to just buy some of your art or the things that you make , we will leave Saria L's best contact details not her address and her phone number , but maybe , like a website , in the show notes . Amazing , okay , thank you . But we brought you here today to talk about your latest ep , recorded live at the knoll . I'd really love to know what is the knoll ? Yeah , it's .
Speaker 4the knoll is a recording kind of community studio in Mount Tambourine which is , I think it's like on Knoll Street . And the reason it's called Life at the Knoll is because Nirvana , I was inspired . You know , they did MTV Unplugged , so I went with that bit the Knoll and it's in Mount Tambourine , which is very appropriate .
Speaker 4Yeah , and very beautiful Mount Tambourine . It happened because I guess he's a philanthropist and just booked it in for me and went I booked you in a studio , so I went and played the songs and then they sounded nice so I turned them into an EP .
Speaker 1Okay , so a philanthropist , which is different to a philanderer , he what saw you perform and thought you were so amazing that you had to be recorded .
Speaker 4He saw me perform , bought my ferments at the merch desk . He's an evangelical christian , so he particularly wants to support jewish people . Okay , classic , yeah , classic . Didn't even know that was a thing , but it is . I've learned that this year too . Yep , yeah , and saw that me and my sister were kind of cancelled from our arts communities because we didn't grow up with Jews at all and started supporting us just like enough to , yeah , book a studio and help make my art happen would you feel comfortable talking more about your cancellation ?
Speaker 4yeah , I mean for me it wasn't as big as for my sister . Like my sister got really terribly cancelled by who ? By her whole community . She's a musician , she's an incredible musician and she was like the darling of the indie scene in Australia , like her career was doing really well and then after October 7th she shared a few things and said she was like proudly Jewish and la la la and her whole , like her gigs got cancelled because people were scared to be in the same room as her and all her friends and community completely like proper , ditched her , ditched her . Like and it happened again two weeks ago with a venue in melbourne and a venue in brisbane and so she had to move to america to continue her career . But it's pretty , yeah , it's very full on . And for me , because I wasn't so public , like as in a public figure , my friends for sure cancelled . Like I lost a lot of friends , a lot .
Speaker 1But it didn't impact my career so much because I didn't have a public career , yeah , and so they cancelled you just for being Jewish .
Speaker 4No , like . I think Gabriela and I were both publicly sharing things that were happening since October 7th , but because it wasn't the popular narrative or showing another perspective , people didn't like that . And you know , I don't think it was that we were posting such like . It wasn't like crazy things , but it was controversial because it was . It was a different narrative , you know , maybe about the hostages or about the tunnels or things like that . It's very alienating , I think even yesterday I met with a person and kind of just trying to explain what they don't see in the news and it gets so it makes me sound like a conspiracy theorist , like I sound crazy and I'm . I'm not crazy , but like news that I respect , respected , don't publish other truths . It's hard to convince people or maybe there's just no point .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1I relate to everything you've said .
Speaker 4But it's so full on , like I now know why Jews have always stuck together , because it's like even yesterday , like my best friends , they're not Jewish and I told them I was like you'll never understand . Like you know , I talk to you 2% about this subject than what I think about . Like I'm thinking about it all the time but I feel like you don't want to hear what's actually going on and so I don't . I just don't talk about it , but it makes you feel like you can only talk to Jews about this stuff , like it's so . It becomes so insular , Do you ?
Speaker 1know what I mean . I do know what you mean and also I think what I've realised recently is that there are more allies than we realise , that those alienating voices are there and they're strong , but they're a minority .
Speaker 4But because we exist in the arts , it's a majority yeah , even like talking to my friend yesterday about this , like he books all these festivals and we , I don't know it got a bit heated , like he was , like I'm open , I'm , I want to know , but then I would say things and he wasn't . He wasn't open and I was like very aware I've like lost all these potential festival gigs because I was trying to explain to him about .
Speaker 1Hamas being a terrorist organisation .
Speaker 4Yeah . And then I'm like maybe I shouldn't talk about , like my friends , like don't tell people you're a Zionist , just don't , because they think you're a Nazi . But I'm like , but do we just stop saying this word because people have changed the word ? It's like saying stop saying you're Brazilian because people don't like Brazilians , or are we meant to educate ? It's like .
Speaker 1No , let us decide what that word means . It's our word .
Speaker 4Yeah , and educate people rather than bowing down to like what they've changed it to . Yeah , you know it's so tricky .
Speaker 1It really is , and I think what you're saying will resonate with a lot of people listening to this podcast . So thank you for giving voice to a feeling that a lot of people have been holding onto and not necessarily been able to express .
Speaker 4Well , thanks for giving me a platform to express , of course , you're doing God's work .
Speaker 3In .
Speaker 1Mullumbimby .
Speaker 4In Mullumbimby , which is God's country . I mean we've got Mount Jerusalem down the road . We have the beach , which is like every day , I'm like this is God , Like God's , at the beach every morning .
Speaker 1I swear you also have the Yemenite Israeli food outlet there . What's it called Yemen's oh ?
Speaker 4well , good branding and then we have Yammy's . We're like we have so many Israelis Like I'm learning Hebrew lessons every week here . There's an amazing Israeli Jewish community here , which is really cool .
Speaker 1There is . I'm polishing for the green tahini from Yemen's .
Speaker 4Oh is it ? This Is that srug . Wait , what's it ?
Speaker 1No , I don't know what it's called , but I think about it too often . I think , I need to come and visit .
Speaker 4Yeah , come and visit Tammy . Please be my guest .
Speaker 1Is that an open invitation to all of our listeners ? Saria L . Before we wrap up this interview , I do need to
Jewish Identity After October 7th
Speaker 1ask you if there's anything that you're ashamed to admit in general , or do you not experience shame ?
Speaker 4well , my father did a very good job of embarrassing us my whole upbringing so I stopped feeling shame like quite young because he really like he would rock up and pick us up from school covered in like green clay , you know , and just do really crazy things that would embarrass the hell out of me . So I think that was actually good like formative wow to make me not as embarrassed .
Speaker 1So then , let me put it this way what's your relationship like with shame ? You are a Jewish woman . I mean , you're many things , but you're also a Jewish woman , and in my experience , jewish women have quite an unhealthy relationship with shame . We like to ruminate and make ourselves feel bad for the things that we've done . Does that resonate with you at all , or do you think she's shaking her head ? Good , set an example .
Speaker 4I wonder if that's because I grew up outside of the Jewish community , without Jewish schools , without because , yeah , do you have guilt ? Like is there a guilt shame thing from the religion of Judaism ? Like is that a thing like Christians with Hard to know where ?
Speaker 1it stems from . I just feel bad about stuff all the time . I'm like oh , I feel bad . I shouldn't have said that thing when I was eight years old . Yeah .
Speaker 4I was heartbroken for eight years with a man that didn't love me . That was . I don't know if that's shame , but that's more regret .
Speaker 1It's shame adjacent , it'll do . Okay , okay , okay . On that note , if you , dear listener , would like to experience some of that heartbreak and healing , then please give Saria L's EP , recorded live at the Knoll , a listen . Give all of her songs on Spotify . Some love and follow her on all the socials . We'll leave her details in the show notes . Saria L , thank you so much for joining me on A Shame to Admit . You've been an absolute pleasure .
Speaker 4Thank you , tammy , and I'm such a big fan really . I've read everything you've written , I listen to all your podcasts and I tell everyone about you , so it really is an honour to be on your podcast . Thank you . We'll speak soon , okay , thank you , tammy . Bye .
Speaker 2That was Saria L , and here's her song Big Dreams from her EP Live at the Knoll , which you can now stream on Spotify gonna do .
Speaker 3Want the prestige , want the Grammys , want the big house with French and pennies , just like all those rock stars in the Hollywood hills . So please don't let me stuff it up this time . Got a whole lot to give and I'm gonna go go get it . Yeah , I won't stop . I won't quit , give up trying . Got a whole lot to give and I'm gonna go go get it . Want the bright lights , my name in headlines . Give me the billboards . I want the prime time . Fake it till you make it . Oh , you'll see me , I swear . Yeah , I'm hungry , I'm ready , I got this . I'm deadly . It's this time , it's the last time , so it's my time to make it right .
Speaker 1So please don't let me stop it . And after you listen to Sarah's EP , go ahead and book your tickets to Le Mood live in Melbourne . We're recording this podcast live and you can be in the audience . Do you live in another state ? Might also be prudent to book your flights as well . Okay , plug it with the plugs , Tammy .
Speaker 2That's it for this week . You've been listening to A Shame to Admit with me , Dash Lawrence .
Speaker 1And me Dash Lawrence , and me Tammy Sussman .
Speaker 2This episode was mixed and edited by Nick King , with theme music by Donovan Jenks .
Speaker 1If you like the podcast , share it with a mate . Tell them it's even more enjoyable than getting into a fresh pair of oversized underwear .
Speaker 2As always , thanks for your support and look out for us next week .
Speaker 3So please don't let me stuff it up this time . I got a whole lot to give and I'm gonna go go get it . Yeah , I won't stop , I won't quit , give up . I'm trying , got a whole lot to give and I'm gonna go go get it . Yeah , please don't let me stop it all this time . I got a whole lot to give and I'm gonna go go get it . Yeah , I won't stop , I won't quit , give up . I try . Got a whole lot to give and I'm ready .
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