Ashamed to Admit

Farmer Wants a Wife: Purim explained, without the noise.

• The Jewish Independent

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So there’s a King and Farmer Wants a Wife and his advisor wants to murder all the Jews and he has a funny hat and Esther becomes Queen and she’s Jewish and she has a cousin (or uncle?) who won’t bow down to … Ashamed to Admit you don't really remember all that much about the Purim Story? Tami and Shoshana are here for you, filling in the gaps before Purim. There’s so much you didn’t learn in Jewish Studies Class. Plus, a real-life desperate parent tries to find a niche costume 48 hours before the parade. 

This episode was filmed and edited by Alleyway Productions 

Watch it on YouTube

The vocalist in the theme song is Sara Yael 

Here’s the article we mentioned, by Gideon Cohen for TJI. 

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Setting The Purim Debate

SPEAKER_00

It's changed to ask, it's changed to admit that do we do it questions? This is it, this is it, why do we get some poor artists? We'll open up the books, the art will open up your cynical heart. No such a thing as a dumb question. Okay, that's mostly true. Tammy asked you for you. A shame to admit.

SPEAKER_02

A shame to ask. It's everything you didn't get in Jewish studies class.

SPEAKER_01

Hello and welcome to Ashame to Admit.

Childhood Memories And Sensory Overload

SPEAKER_02

I'm Tammy Susman. I'm Shoshana Gottlieb Becker. Um, and it is the week before Purim. It is. I love Purim. Like genuinely I love Purim. Um, but not to ask you leading questions or anything based on scripts in front of us or whatever, but like how do you feel about Purim? Thank you so much for asking.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not a huge fan. The deep sigh, the deepest sigh. This is such an unpopular opinion. You don't like Purim. It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I feel burdened by it. So it sounds like you don't like it. Okay. As a child, as a young child in primary school, I loved that we didn't have to, and I went to a Jewish school if that wasn't obvious. I loved that we didn't have to do regular classes that day.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I liked that we got to eat some cookies that were triangular shaped, otherwise known as Hammintuschen. I did not like the sound of the Gregors, of the noise makers that people used to spin whenever Haman's name was mentioned in the McGillar. Now I'm looking back, I'm like undiagnosed neurodivergent. But I did want to ask, but I wasn't sure if I was on that side. Very overstimulating day. Then obviously, year six, when you want a bit of attention, then it is fun, especially if you're 10 years old and that coincides with the nanny being very popular on television. You get an opportunity to dress up as Fran Dresha. Amazing and Grandma Yder and Sylvia. Do you have um photographic evidence of it? I do.

SPEAKER_02

Can we put it like right here on the screen?

Costumes, Parties, And Adult Purim

SPEAKER_01

I'll make sure if that happens. That's incentive for people who only listen to look. Stop walking your cat and watch the screen for a bit. Watch the screen. Yeah. As an adult female, I don't know. Purim is some people call purim um Jewish Halloween. Those people would be incorrect. Okay. Other people call Halloween Goishapuri.

SPEAKER_02

I'll accept it.

SPEAKER_01

I find fancy dress the biggest burden. If someone invites me to a milestone birthday and it's fancy dress, I'm like, I have enough on my plate. I don't need to have that mental load of needing to get a costume to go to this event. It really shits me. I don't like the concept of parading in front of people. You're gonna love the McGill if that's the case.

SPEAKER_02

You're a bit of cream grinch. I am, I don't like it. I don't know this, like everything about your personality suggests a chance to dress up in like, I don't know, any like some campy, flamboyant, or like the opposite, to dress up as like a male CEO and like wear a bald cap and a mustache.

SPEAKER_01

Like I feel like you would like gun for that. Okay, I can get behind that. I think what I don't like is how Purim for adults has become a little bit like Halloween in the United States, and it's just an opportunity for girls to dress as slutty inserts.

SPEAKER_02

I think that's the circles you're in. Okay. Because I have never worn a slutty Purim. I was true. I'm just looking at you. But I'm saying like, and I also think that like I I've had like like ebbs and flows of liking and disliking Purim. And I've settled back onto like I really like it. I think like we spend so long being so like serious as a people in what we celebrate and how we celebrate, and everything's like by the book, your sucker has to be this high, and the exit has happened, blah blah blah blah blah. And this is just like a like the fact that one of the um commandments is like just get so drunk that you that you like you can't tell two people apart. Like that's fun. I don't believe in binge drinking, but I do think that like there is a fun energy to Purim that we don't often get as Jews who celebrate sadness a lot.

Puzza And Teen Binge Culture

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so it's a chance to let loose. Exactly. And that's what today's episode is gonna be all about. It's a Purim special. I'm ashamed to admit, I don't know a hell of a lot about Purim. Yeah. I learned about it in primary school, high school, there was more in the focus on the binge drinking side of it. Puzza?

SPEAKER_02

You went to Puzza, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

For those listening in other parts of Australia and around the world, I'm not sure if Puzza has caught on in other states, territory.

SPEAKER_02

Puzza's in Melbourne as well.

SPEAKER_01

Is it? Oh yeah. Okay. It sounds to me like a very Australian thing, but just briefly, what's Puzzah?

SPEAKER_02

Um Puzza is like the Purim party where the teenagers go and get incredibly drunk, like on the night of Purim.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, at the school I went to, it was the morning of Purim. If Purim's at school that day, you're meeting at 6 a.m. in the park across the road from the school, drinking there so that you arrive at the time.

SPEAKER_02

Again, I was never I never went to Puzzah because I was a good kid. Okay. Um, but it was always like the night before, because Purim, like we've established like it starts the evening before the day because Jewish calendar starts, blah blah blah blah. Um, starts the night before, and so you like hear the McGillah get really, really drunk, and then you show up to school still drunk from the night before.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

At least that's back in my day. Right. So I am ashamed to admit that that was the focus in high school. Then you leave high school and you don't really want to think about the stuff you learnt in school. And then when you're in your 20s, you Google some things. You're like, why did Bashti not want to show up to that party? And you learn some new information that shocks you. Yep. Stuff you didn't learn in school.

Tammy’s Two‑Minute Purim Summary

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So when preparing for this episode, I'm trying to get myself into the mind frame of like person who didn't like go to seminary or do any Jewish study after school, because I did a lot of Jewish study after school. Um, and so I asked you to send me a voice note. I'm like, what's everything you know about the Purim story? Please relay that to me. And you sent me a two-minute and seven-second voice note that I think is like the most fascinating insight into Jewish education in Australia that we possibly have as you know, um intellectuals and researchers. And I think that you should send that to people to study.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I'm gonna play it now. I'm gonna play it on double speed because that's how people listen anyway. It's true. While I get it up, can you please tell our viewers and listeners what seminary is?

SPEAKER_02

Seminary is um Jewish school. So, like post-school, you can either go to yeshiva, which is usually the boy option, and you can study, um, or you go to seminary um and it's a all girls um environment, and you learn Jewish stuff usually for like a year or so. Um, yeah. So it's further education. It's like tertiary Jewish education, usually done before you go to university if you decide to go to university.

Vashti’s Refusal And Power Politics

SPEAKER_01

All right, yeah. I'm gonna play. This is my understanding of the Purim based on 12 years of Jewish education in Sydney. Um, I'm gonna start again. I'll do it at 1.5. Yeah. Um okay, so it's in the Persian Empire. Or in Persia. Um there's King Ahashvaraj, he's the Persian king, and he has multiple wives. In primary school, we learn he had one wife, Vashdi, and later I learned he had multiple wives, or maybe concubines, a word I now know. Um Vashdi, he he was upset with Vashdi because well in primary school we learned he was she was disobedient, but then as an adult, I learned that she wouldn't parade around naked for the king. Um one reading said she had a rash. And so he needs a new wife or he wants a new wife. And then there's Haman, and Haman is his advisor, and Haman wants to kill the Jews. So Queen Esther, oh sorry, she's not Esther, she's not Queen yet, she's Esther, and she has an uncle modified, but he could also potentially be her husband. They suggest that she put herself forward to be a queen so that there can be she can try and uh I don't know, change King Hash Rosh's mind about killing the Jews. Um so that's what she does. And uh in those days, in order to get permission to speak to the king, it was a big deal. Like he could kill you or something if he doesn't want to talk to you. So it was really high stakes, and she was too nervous to eat, and that's why we fast. And she eventually does convince Ahashi Raj not to kill the Jews, and I don't know what happens to Herman, and that's what I know. And her man has a triangular hat. Is that the bit that made you laugh?

SPEAKER_02

The kind of all made me laugh, but like it was just so funny because like bits and pieces of it are like it's like mostly right, you know. Like, I don't know if I'd give you a passing grade if I was like, but like it's all of the nuggets are like kind of right, and then it's just the way that it's been woven together. Um is fascin again, it's fascinating stuff to me specifically.

SPEAKER_01

You synthesized that voice memo into 11 points. Yeah, but a couple of points have like subpoints. Okay, but yes, 11 or so points. What you did to my voice memo is what Maimonides did to the Talmud?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Nice, good remembering. Thank you. Maybe I am a good teacher.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So give me a raise. Everything Tammy knows about Purim. Yes. One, Persian Empire or Persia. That is correct.

The “Search” For A New Queen

SPEAKER_02

So it takes place um in Persia whilst the Jews are in exile after the destruction of the first temple. Okay. Um, and you are also correct that I'll like go to the second point. It is. King Ahashferosh of Persia has multiple wives. Okay, so he is the king of Persia, also correct. Um, at the beginning of the story, we only know about one wife of his. Um, and so historically, maybe he had more concubines. We know that later on he has concubines and another main wife, but at the beginning of the story, he just has the one wife named Vashti.

SPEAKER_01

Um and yeah, and then number three, I said he's upset with Vashti because she's disobedient. Now in primary school, we learn it's because she wouldn't come to a party that he put on, she refused to come. As an adult, I learnt that she didn't want to parade naked in front of people. And um, I also read something about the fact that one reading is that she had a rash, so she didn't want to parade naked.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so there's lots of things happening in that, which again are all like nuggets of truth. Right. So Akashverosh is throwing a party. It's a really like it's a year-long party, and this is at sort of the end of this year-long party. Yeah, it's like a really big party.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

Esther, Mordechai, And Hidden Identity

Risk, Fasting, And The Raised Sceptre

SPEAKER_02

Um, and at the end of the party, there's like a main like end-of-party seven-day party. Vashti is hosting a women's party. Um, and at some point, like Akashverosh decides to summon her. And the text says that um he wants her to come wearing her crown, right? And like parade in front of everyone. And some of the rabbis read that, and they say the fact that it says like in the crown means in just the crown and in nothing else. So he, according to some rabbinic thought, he requests that she um strip, put on the crown, and then come and parade in front of all of his mates sitting around drinking during this like huge festive party thing. And she says no. Um, Rashi, who we might talk about soon maybe, um, is a commentator from medieval France, and he says that she um like magically sprouts leprosy, which is kind of like a skin condition, but in the Bible, leprosy is always like a moral issue. Yeah. Right? Like, you get punished with leprosy. Exactly. And so she was like struck down with leprosy and and and she was very vain, right? And that vanity and like this new rash meant that she didn't want to go before the king. Okay. Um, Rashi also talks about how like um he does a lot to sort of like tear her down and make her evil. Because again, like in the text itself, she's just like a woman who doesn't want to go to the party. The rabbis try to build backstory, and the rabbis, I think, are also trying to make her um like a literary foil for Esther, who is this like beautiful, amazing, pious woman. And so they're trying to create in the text because again, like they're very we're a textual people, creating a nice narrative foil to her. And so we're making Vashti kind of like an evil bitch. Okay. And the rabbi, and like some rabbis say, like she had Jewish maids and she mistreated them and she made them work naked on Shabbos and like all of this other horrible stuff. And so this is kind of her come-up, and so this is her karmic retribution for mistreating Jewish maids, is she's asked to parade naked in front of her husband. Okay. The next point you've written, the farmer wants a wife. Yeah, because what have Yeah, because so Vashti says no, Achash Verosh, like sort of um, it doesn't say whether she died or not, like the text is kind of um um vague about it, but she kind of gets sent away. Okay. And then after a while, he becomes lonely and he realizes he wants a wife again. And so I've written The Farmer Wants a Wife because um you in your voice note kind of framed it like Esther decides to enter this competition. Right. The thing with Vashti, as well, that I think is really interesting is that um it becomes like a wider power play of a story because a lot of the rabbis also say that Vashti was a descendant of Nabuchad Netzer, who was the Assyrian emperor. And Ahashverosh was the son of the first Persian emperor. So it's like at a time where the Assyrians are being usurped by the Persians. And so Vashdi is like almost symbolic of this old empire, and if she wields too much power, it not only undermines Ahashvarosh, the Persian king, but also the Persian Empire as a whole. Okay. And so I think that's an interesting dynamic that plays into it that makes it a bit also more nuanced and interesting, as opposed to like, you know, bad husbands, a dime a dozen, maybe. Right. And it turns it into like this bigger power play. Okay. Um, and now there's lots of feminist readings about Vashti as well.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, in terms of like sadly.

Haman’s Rise, Plot, And Downfall

SPEAKER_02

Sad. That's fine. Okay. So then um Akash Resh is lonely. He um he doesn't like put out a competition, like it's not Australian idol or a farmer wants a wife, but he basically like forces a generation of women from across the empire who are of marriageable age and also virgins to come before him and to be like seen if it's okay if if like to be tried as wives. So it's like a liner. Almost, yeah. So and there's a whole system set up. So like women are like kind of like forced to come. And again, whether it uses the words forced or not, it's like this is what's implied. Women are forced to come, they live um in sort of this harem for a year and they ready themselves to meet the king, and they bathe in beautiful oils and like I don't know, hang out and blah blah blah blah. It's giving bachelor, yeah. They spend a night with the king, and then he decides separately or together? Uh one at a time. Okay. Spend a night with the king, he decides if he wants them to be um his wife, and then if it's yes, fantastic, we have a new queen. If it's not, um, again, an interesting like dynamic. If you've slept with the king, you belong to him now. So you don't get to go home. No, no, no. You go from his palace to a secondary harem where you are his concubine for life, essentially. Um, and so it's really a horrific story. Um, Farmer wants a wife, of like these, again, like a generation of young women um being forced to sleep with a king with the promise of maybe being the queen, and then when they don't get that prize, they um are just taken to a secondary place where they spend their if he wants to call them back for you know a night of pleasure, they can go, but otherwise they're just like hanging around.

SPEAKER_01

Hero was worried that I was ruining Purim, and I'm pretty sure you just ruined it. You don't have to, it's the rabbis. I'm not making this stuff up. It's um it's let's not victim blame or shame here. It's a hush for rosh, ruined Purim.

Jewish Self‑Defence And Aftermath

Hamantaschen Myths And Meanings

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And then Esther is one of these young women. Okay. Um, she doesn't necessarily want to like enter the competition. Um, and Mordechai wants her to like kind of see the brighter side, and he's like, maybe this is happening for a reason. Wow, you've mentioned Mordechai. Yeah. Who is Mordechai? Mordechai, great question. According to the text itself, Mordechai is Esther's first cousin. Okay. Um, and she is an orphan, so he adopts her. Other rabbis say or other commentaries say that maybe he is her uncle. Some people say cousin, some people say husband. I read that for the first time as an adult and got the ick. Yeah. Um, again, but again, according to like the simple text, it's their cousins. Okay. If you want real like mind-blowing stuff, you should look up the stuff on Safaria that talks about Morchai being able to breastfeed Esther as a child when he adopts her. But that's neither here nor there for now. Wow. Yes. Okay. Um anyway, so Esther enters this competition and she, it's like, again, it's such, it's such a it's good storytelling. Like the Tanakh is the best book in the world, but like Esther is like so good. Um, she is a young virgin, she spends the night with him, and then she's chosen. And there is this guy named Robert Alter, who is a contemporary like commentator and like biblical scholar. And he talks about, he's like, what is um, like, how can a young virgin who like, and and again the text is like she doesn't do anything special, it's very simple, like, but she's still like her beauty, she's chosen, she like it's her, like um all of her like mid-dot, right, her values shine through, right? But Robert Alter's like, no, like, how can a young woman like who doesn't know anything, how can she please the king enough? And it's probably because she was like passive in bed and he had a bit of ED and she like helped him like get it up, and no one else could do that. And so then he brings in this like sort of you know, like this, and again, and it makes so much sense when you read the text of like it's always about a guy's schlong. Yeah, and like and it's always like that's just it's all it is. It's a power trip. She didn't giggle or demean him, she was and she just like sort of like and she was like really nice, yeah, and and nice enough that you know he felt comfortable, and that's how she went out. Yeah, and I think it's a really fascinating commentary. Okay, um, yeah, and then again it's sort of alluded to later because you said she's scared to see the king at a certain point in the story. Um, and at that point, like it says in the text that like it's a really big deal to go without being summoned, and that's why she's scared to go. But when she does go and it's seen as like a miracle, he lifts his sceptre to her. So it's more of this phallic imagery of like, you know, the raising of the scepter to welcome her in and to say it's okay, and like I guess she's using her like feminine wiles and she's using her femininity to like win him over in this way. Like it's really a very deep and rich, fantastic text to read. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm narrowing that down to did he choose her or did he Shmechul choose her? Who's to say?

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Who's to say? So that's number four. Yep. Number five, Haman is the advisor to the king. Yep. Haman wants to kill the Jews.

Why Purim Is Joyfully Communal

SPEAKER_02

So Haman is like one of the advisors. He becomes the main advisor. Um, he becomes like almost secondary to the king, and he encounters a man named Mordechai, who we've already established, we know. Um, and Mordechai refuses to bow down to him. That's right. Yeah. And he realizes it's because, and he's very offended by this, he realizes it's because Mordechai is a Jew, and as a religious Jew, Mordechai does not bow down to anyone except our god. And so then Haman gets really angry and he vows to like genocide the Jews, and he basically asks Ahashverosh's permission to kill all of the Jews, and he says, Yep, go for it, buddy.

SPEAKER_01

Because at this point, Ahashverosh doesn't know Esther's Jewish. Yes. Or Esther has met Esther, yes.

SPEAKER_02

He's met Esther. Esther, when she goes into the palace, like for the competition. Um, Morakai says, maybe hide that you're Jewish. Okay. Because, like, you know, just this could come up later, it could be really helpful for us, but like for now, just hide it.

SPEAKER_01

Can relate. Yes. Yeah. To hiding Judaism, not entering a palace.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Have you ever been to a palace?

SPEAKER_01

Um, not in this context of being chosen by the king. Farm's wife. All right. Big deal to get permission to talk to the king. So I'm assuming this happens because. Herman says to King Ahashvar Rosh, genocide the Jews. Ahashverosh says, okay, then Mordehai, who's still texting Esther, even though she lives at the palace now, he says her, maybe try and Yeah, he's like, You've got to do something about this.

Name And Shame: The Sushi Costume

SPEAKER_02

She's really scared. It's a big deal. You can't just call her the king. And he kind of like appeals to, you know, he's like, you know what? You've clearly been put here for a reason. And again, it's like this beautiful moment, like, this could be why you were put into this situation. Again, it's like a horrible situation because, and we can get to it at the end, but like once this story is over and the Jews have a happy ending, she stays in the palace, right? And she's like, she doesn't get to go home back to her family and her life. Um, but he says, like, you've been put in this situation for a reason. It could be this, and if you don't help the Jews now, like someone else is gonna come along and help us, right? Like, we believe in God, but like this is might be why you're here. Okay. Um, and so then she, and you said she's too nervous to eat. In actuality, um, fasting um and like is a form of prayer almost. It like it puts you in the mindset for prayer, right? So we we fast on Yom Kippur because it it separates us from our bodily self and our bodily needs and allows us to focus on prayer. And so she's sort of, and then also in ancient Israel, if you like if it's if it doesn't rain for if you have a drought, you fast to try and get it back, right? It's it's like a form you couple it with like intense prayer to God.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_02

And so she says, I'm gonna fast for three days to prayer to pray to God that I get accepted to be welcomed by the king. The Jewish community should also fast for three days alongside me in solidarity and also to pray on my behalf. And so, because of that, the day before Purim is known as Tarnit Esther, which is the fast of Esther. Um, and again, religious Jews till this day will fast in memory and in honor of like that fast and her putting herself in danger.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I used to be a little bit judgy about fasting because I was just like, you just want an excuse to do the fasting diet. But no, now I can see that's actually beautiful. Yeah, I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And so she, yeah, so she fasts, she like readies herself, she goes, he lifts the scepter. And again, it's miraculous because we've seen already he's kind of a hot-headed, he can be a bit rash, it's all like between the texts. Um, and then all of a sudden, and she has no power, she's a girl from nothing. Yeah. Bashti, at least, you know, we think was like from royalty. Or nobility, yeah. And like Esther's like sort of like just plopped in. She's the princess, she's the princess Mary. You know, like the young Aussie who's just like finds herself with a Danish prince. Yes. That's Esther, but like she's forced into it. She doesn't meet him at a bar.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. There was no slip-in at in um that was the name of the bar. Oh, it's called the slip-in? Yeah, it's called the slip-in.

SPEAKER_02

I was too young. I just remember it on like the front of like Women's Day.

SPEAKER_01

You thought I was talking about a scepter. Yep. Okay, you point 10 is Haman. Three question marks. We've covered who he is. Yeah.

Closing Credits And Listener Nudge

SPEAKER_02

Um, you didn't know what happened to him at the end of the story. That's why with the question marks. You're like, what's- Does he get killed? Yeah. So what happens is um Esther invites Akash Veresh and Haman to a party. Um, they come to this like little feast. She says, come back tomorrow. They come back. She reveals her identity as a Jew to them both and says, Someone at this table wants to kill me. And everyone's like, oh my god, who is that? And then Akashverash gets really mad at Haman, Haman tries to beg her forgiveness, he gets sentenced to death. There's also this whole like backplot of like Mordecai accidentally like foils a plot um of assassination for Akashverosh. So he gets put into a ledger that the king owes him a favor. Um then that because Haman and Mordechai are like um adversaries, um it's a whole thing basically. Like, Mordechai is known to the king. Haman wants to kill him, he builds a special like gallows just for Mordechai because the it's a whole thing. He has to lead Mordechai through the town on a horse and it's very degrading for him. Read the book. We don't have enough time. Um, he builds a special gallows just for Mordechai for like the genocide day of the Jewish people. Um and because like this sort of like Esther stops it from happening, kind of can I guess?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Does Haman get beheaded on the gallows?

SPEAKER_02

He gets like hanged. Hanged. Him and his ten sons get hanged on the gallows meant for mordechar.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, because gallows is for hanging, there's something else. Guillotine is that both starts with a gene. The gallows, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So he gets hanged, where morta. It's like, you know, this like sweet, sweet retribution. Yeah. Um the other interesting thing about the end of the story is that, and this is like in the text, Akashirosh says, I would love to help you. I'd love to say you can't kill the Jews on this allotted day. But because it has my royal signet, like I've already signed it, I can't, I can't take back something I've already said can happen. But what I can do is say that Jews have explicit permission to fight back. And and he sends that out across the provinces. And so it's actually the end of the Megillah, part of the end of the Megillah is that Jews fight back and that they like kill a bunch of people who are planning to kill them. Oh my god. And there's like a reverse massacre that happens. Um it feels a little bit fresh. It's what happens, as in like the Jews, yeah, it's like it's a whole thing.

SPEAKER_01

Um I just ruined that part of the story. It's history.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, anyway, um, and that's and that's what happens. That's like the end of the story, and then they and like it's it's kind of like that classic thing of like at the end of Gilmore Girls, where she writes the the book called Gilmore Girls. Um, but they write the McGillah of like the story that had happened at the end. Modify and Esther write it together.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

And then that's the end of the story. And I've probably missed some bits. My friend Sarah's gonna listen to this and tell me I got stuff wrong, but like that's fine.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, Sarah, write in to ashamed at the Jewishindependent.com.au. You can just text me. Okay. Just WhatsApp me. Sure. Or you can WhatsApp Shoshana, and we'll read those angry, angry texts in an upcoming episode. Thanks, Sarah. Okay. Um there's a lot more to say, I'm sure, including the fact that that's why kids eat what? Oh, yeah, you say it. The hat. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02

Fascinating stuff. Because this is like I actually did a deep dive on. Okay. So Hamantashin, they look like that. And we've been taught that the triangle is because he Haman had a triangle hat. Um, so actually, from some of the research Wikipedia I've been reading, um, it was just like a nice shape for it. So the word tush means pocket in Yiddish. Mon is the poppy seed filling, it's called mon. And so a montash is like a pocket of poppy seed. Oh, cute. And it sounds a bit like hummentush. And so it kind of like reverse-engineered into like a pun. So it was montash, and this is like all theory of like how it got the name. It was montash, and then it's and then they're like, that's funny, humantosh. Um, I also think it's really important to point out humantashin is the plural form. Ah. Hammantush is a single one. Ooh, yeah. A Hammintush, Hammintushin. Okay. Um, but yeah, it could be his hat, but also probably not, because I don't think stylistically, triangle hats were in at the time. Um, and also in Hebrew they're called Ozne Haman, which means Haman's ears. Oh. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

But I don't yeah, it's they're not mentioned in the scroll. Something just occurred to me. Also, do you know what Mon's pubis is? Do you want to explain? It's the front of And it kind of looks like that as well.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I think that's probably there's lots of like hey armour stuff written about why it kind of looks like female genitalia. I think it might be coincidence. The n the name like sound as a coincidence. Okay, coincidence. But it is probably mostly like that it was a poppy seed pouch originally, a montage, and that sounded like because I can see that happening. When something kind of sounds like something else, and you like you're like, that's funny, I'm gonna make a pun. You should know this as a funny person. Puns are hilarious. Yes, and so that's probably how it was like, and again, Sarah's gonna fact-check me on that one.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so to all the haters who say you should not put poppy seed in a Hammond Tash and I agree, it's disgusting, but it's probably the original one.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, but it is gross. Disagree. Strawberry jam is the best one. Disagree.

SPEAKER_01

But strawberry jam is appropriate if we're thinking about it through the Volvic lens.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

unknown

True.

SPEAKER_01

And before we get cancelled, once again, I think it's time that we move on to everyone's favourite segment.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I just wanna, you spent so long at the beginning hating on Purim. Okay. I would like to offer Purim an apology on your behalf. And I want to tell you like why you should love it. Okay. I'm gonna convince you. If that whole retelling didn't convince you. Okay. Okay. Purim is the campus holiday, right? Um, it's funny, it's silly, right? A lot of the Torah around it is also funny and silly. There's like lots of puns and jokes and stuff. Um, we're commanded to get drunk until we don't know the difference between Haman and Mordechai, right? The two main characters. Um, but also, and I think this is the best part, is that it's a it's a holiday of like being a socialite, right? And it's a holiday about community because the form it's fod of purium, you listen to the Megillah being read, um, you give Mishlochman not, right? So like baskets of food to people in your life, you give to poor people, Mantanot Levianim, like you give charity to the poor. And then also you're supposed to have this big meal um with your family and your friends. And the whole, like all four of those things are social things. You read the Megilla in a group, um, you have like that meal with your friends. If you know people in your community who like who maybe can't afford food, you can give them a basket with food for that party, right? Like that's like the whole point of it. Like you give them food to be used. And then also, if there are people in your community who can't afford food at all, you're also giving like you, you like the the mitzvah is to give money on this the actual day of purim so it can be used for purim. Okay, right, and so it's all about lifting up the people, like and when you read the text, right? You see a lot of women in need, right? Whether it's Vashti, whether it's Esther, and it's about lifting people up and it's about supporting them socially in different means, and it's fun. You should have so much fun with it.

SPEAKER_01

That I can get behind, but I don't like forced fun. That's why I don't like New Year's Eve. There's the expectation to have fun. I also don't like socializing. So okay. Grinch. Grinch. I do love the story of Purium.

SPEAKER_02

There is so there, and like I do, I I I encourage everyone to read the Torah, but I especially encourage you to read Miguel at Esther with a good commentary. It is fantastic, it is so good.

SPEAKER_01

Don't read Chat GPT's version of the Megilla. It will give you the wrong information. It will tell you that 2026 is a leap year and therefore there is purem katan. That is incorrect. Don't trust it. Full start. And that's all we have time for in terms of the poem story. The puzza story. Happy Puzza, everyone. This week we'll call it you can choose.

SPEAKER_02

Um, I want to call it um name and shame. Even though it's funny because it's all anonymous. And we never actually give anyone's names. I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So we let's just Name and Shame. Which is funny because we don't name it.

SPEAKER_02

We never name it. We never tell you the groups, we keep everyone anonymous, but in here we know.

SPEAKER_01

Name and shame. This name and shame is from 2024.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_01

It's from a Melbourne Facebook group. For those of our viewers and listeners living overseas, you need to pull your weight. You need to send us posts from your communities. This anonymous member, anonymous, important, posted the following request 48 hours before Purim started. And the post read.

SPEAKER_02

I'm doing it. Yeah. Urgently all caps. Looking for a sushi roll costume for a one-year-old boy. Also all caps.

SPEAKER_01

This was forwarded to me in a WhatsApp group that I am in. We had so many questions. So funny. It's genuinely art. It's good. Number one. Why is boy capitalized?

SPEAKER_02

Because it could be one of those girls, like the sexy girl sushi costumes.

SPEAKER_01

Heaven forbid we dress a one-year-old in a sexy girl sushi roll costume. Can't do it. Number two, why was this posted anonymously?

SPEAKER_02

I think I have answers for all of these. Okay. Um, because there's a certain level of like mum shaming that comes along, like she didn't prep in time. That's on her. She feels a level of like mummy shame. And so it's anonymous. Even though the anonymity doesn't help if someone does have the costume, how are they gonna get it to you?

SPEAKER_01

That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_02

But I understand being anonymous in a Facebook group.

SPEAKER_01

But you've touched on something really important, mum shame. I think that's another reason why I don't like Purim, and especially since I had kids, it's the pressure to have to put my kid in a cute costume. So not only do I have the mental burden of finding my own, and when I was married, something for my husband, I also had to find it for the kids. It's just a lot. Okay. Why so specific? Why does this person need to dress her one-year-old boy as a sushi roll? You said you have the answers for everything.

SPEAKER_02

Either there's like some family theme, right? So it's like maybe it's a um Echo box. Like a food theme. Maybe like they have a three-year-old who's a hot dog. Okay. Maybe they're going as like sushi chefs because they just like throw in a bathrobe and a bandana. Um, maybe like that's why maybe they are sushi fans. Maybe they thought it would be easy and then they freaked out and like they've just got it like, you know, when you like get stuck on something? I have too much sympathy for these Facebook posters. I'm I'm now realizing. I try my problem is that I try to understand their logical thinking, and I don't think many of them have logical thinking when they're 48 hours before Purim being like, oh my god, I need that sushi costume for my son.

SPEAKER_01

If it were me and it was 48 hours before Purim and I didn't have a costume, which I'll be honest with you, 12 hours before Purim, I usually don't have a Purim costume. I'm just being open-minded. I'm like, put out a post, put out a put a call out and just say, give me what you got. I'll take any.

SPEAKER_02

Kmart sell them for like 10 bucks. You know what I mean? Or, and this is the ultimate hack, especially in religious they love this in religious circles. If it's a baby boy, put it in a dress. That's the Purim costume. Okay. That hits every time. It's hilarious. So this boy was a girl. Happy Purim. I don't know. I think people should employ me to solve their issues. Their religious Purim costume issues.

SPEAKER_01

And on that note, happy puzzle, everyone.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, happy puzza. To the Grinch herself.

SPEAKER_01

That's it for today, our Puzza episode. You've been watching or listening to Ashamed to Admit with me, Tammy Sussman, and my wonderful, intelligent, funny, open-minded co-host, Shoshana Gottlieb Becker. Who you should hire when you have Jewish questions. Or if you need a Purium costume 48 hours before. I'll give you good ideas.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um, this episode was brought to you by the Jewish Independent. The Jinn Dependent with Ali Way Productions. And the vocalist in our theme song is Sara Yell. More credit than in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01

If you enjoyed this episode, even if you didn't, just forward it to people. If you didn't enjoy it, just forward it to someone and say, How bad is this?

SPEAKER_02

And if you hate it, just give us a hate listen every week.

SPEAKER_01

Brilliant idea. Full of great ideas. And five stars.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Anyway, bye. Thank you so much. See you next week.